twenty one

i didn't want to have a party, initially, because this is such a terrifying year.

thanks to everybody who came.

and as much as it feels good to appreciated, i know this is going to be a lonely one, because I've chosen loneliness out of all the possibilities of turning 21.

I know that I'll never forgive myself should I give in to loneliness, and that I'll suffer if I don't give in. Sweet damnation I've chosen. But I think that choice is too much of an illusion here.

adam