this is not a poem.

Come to the dark side
resistance is futile- stand down
rule as father and son
what, no hyperspace?
we are the borg - trust in the
there is no spoon
force : mass times acceleration
captain, cruising at warp
Orange trees in the field!
Fire
you were
proton the
chosen
torpedoes! We've been hit
Master! I promise -
Promise me -
structural integrity

I'll train the boy!

falling.

Falling.
Seventy...
beam me tell your sister
You are a child of the universe.
You were right.

bitching abt blogs.

What is it with bloggers?

DISCLAIMER: This is purely my personal opinion on how blogs should be run. It IS ultimately up to you, and I'm not suggesting in any way that you should change your blogging style just to please me. Just realise that it is ridiculous.

rant

Blogging, in my humble opinion, has brought out the very worst in writing (and people as well).

Firstly, on Content. Honestly, who wants to know what you did today? A quick and simple answer would be 'nobody'. Now of course this isn't true, but it certainly is the case for the majority of us. If you absolutely MUST tell me what you did at 3.54:32 this afternoon, please, please make it brief, and explain to me how that is significant. Of course you're entitled to write about something if it was significant to you, but please be interesting.

Coherence! I know you like your pretty ellipsis and semi-colon. It doesn't mean they should be sprinkled like icing all over your entry. It makes you sound stupid. Poetry, unless you happen to be good at it, is also a strict no-no. Bad poetry is... bad. It neither reflects your current mood, current activities, nor aesthetic talent. Avoid it.
If bloggers are exhibitionists, you are running around with your underwear on your head.

EDIT. post-bitch: please be clear when using the second person. Lines like "Why did you do it? Why? Why?" often leave the reader confused as to whether he just unwittingly killed your parents. Unless you are referring to the readership in general, always identify when you use the second person. EDIT-EDIT - Otherwise, just don't bloody post it on your blog! MUST you push the limits of exhibitionism? I really wouldn't terribly like to know if you just had a spat with your girlfriend/boyfriend/pet.

Secondly, on Style. Lyk OMG. Plz lrn some proper speling kae? I mean, aftr over 10 yrs in sch mebbe its abt time you learn proper grammar an spelling and mebbe how to EXPRESS YOURSELF PROPERLY! Yes, I AM a bigoted, elitist bitch. Live with it, and fix your grammar. Appending 'sh' to the end of every other word does not make you cute. It does not make you interesting either. It just makes you sound like an idiot with a lisp.

EDIT - 2 hours later. I've realised I get amazingly pissed at people who love to use italics.
It IS annoying. You know you do it. I know it's all new-age and novelty and all, but for goodness's sakes, it's just a bunch of slanty letters! Get over it! The old-fashioned, obsolete "double inverted commas" often work just as well!
Oh, please save me.

Thirdly, on Strategy. LAYOUT! If you must blog, and I'm not saying you should, maybe make the main text of your blog the MAIN section of your website. As much as you're an interesting, fun-loving, enlightened person, I think most others are tired of reading your elaborate vital statistics while squinting at the narrow column of words that happens to be your latest entry. I don't know, maybe this is some inherent limitation in html coding, which i'm quite honestly useless at.
What's worse than this is refusing to use paragraphs. Paragraph breaks are the heart and soul of legible writing. An already badly thought-out, ungrammatical, badly spelled article which rambles on and on with no hint of reprieve can be quite off-putting. On the other extreme, having a respectable space for you to post your latest entry on, but actually
blogging
like
this
is
kind
of
irritating
don't
you
think?
Maybe not. It IS your blog after all. All I'm saying is that if you blog like that people might not go to your blog, and you might be flamed by me, and my supreme almighty self-righteous anger.

Bloggers were invented to torture people like me. Do me a favour, yeah?

/rant

I feel better now.

-Adam

can't think of another lame title.

I'm listening to the ABRSM recordings of my grade 8 exam pieces. Shit. Compared to this my playing sounds like me trying to play with the middle of my forehead and my two big toes. Most notably, I can't produce a good variation in tone colour... it all sounds kind of wooden. Will work on this.

Webcomics I frequent.

Order of the Stick
Ctrl-Alt-Del
Count your sheep

Just a few things I thought you might like to check out.

- adam!

16! w00tness.

What's so great about being 16? I think it's overrated. I mean, yeah, wow. I can have sex now. It isn't like i'm the sort of person who's really inclined to be having a lot of sex at this age, nor do I know anybody who'd be inclined to be having sex with me. So there isn't anything great about that.
I can watch NC-16 movies. Which is great, but I hardly watch movies anyways. So it isn't likely to affect me. And if I really was that bent on watching a movie I'd have found some way to get in. NC-16 or not.

So yeah, nothing great about being 16. So? We need an excuse to celebrate. There's never enough of that. Do you know that I have been alive for 5844 days? I initially thought it was 5843, but upon inspection I've realised that WHILE years divisible by 100 aren't in fact leap years, those that are also divisible by 400 are. So 2000 was a leap year, and I accidentally subtracted an extra day from my age. 5844 days, man! Soon to be 5845, but that's tomorrow's business.

Yay.

- ADAM!

the land of Cescus.

For we are on a boat, sailing towards the land of Cescus.
There , across the ocean, lies the glory of a years-long voyage, lie a thousand wonders never before seen by the eyes of man, rivers and springs and forests and trees in abundance, and animals new and old, and all wondrous. Yes, we're sailing for Cescus, and the fruit of all our labours.

But what shall the sailors do on the way there?

We Swab Decks.

Because! It is of utmost importance that we swab decks.

So the mighty Captain says (when he isn't throwing up over the stern): We are! My men, on THE most important journey! To! the other side of the world! To! The land of Cescus! Where all things grow! In abundance! And! It is of THE utmost! Importance that when! We get there there isn't going to be ONE! Speck o' dirt left on this deck! We are PIoneers of humanity! And! we better be making a good impression! Grab yer mop, sailor!

Throughout my years on the high seas, I have not seen a stouter man, a finer leader than our captain. We were brave sailors, facing the wind and the rain and the storms, even sneaking an extra hour or two after dusk to scrub the last of the salt and seagull-droppings off the deck.
It's just been a month since we set sail - the sea's begun to take its toll on some of the rookies on board. Had a man, yesterday - swabbed until his hands bled. Poor fellow. But we all know we've got the most important jobs to do. Pioneers of humanity... I like what the Capt. said. Has a nice ring to it. I do hope there're monkeys on Cescus. They'll be impressed how clean this ship is. I can just imagine them, sitting on the shore, munching on their bananas or whatever tropical fruit, chittering and pointing.
Yeah, they'll be impressed.