bitching abt blogs.

What is it with bloggers?

DISCLAIMER: This is purely my personal opinion on how blogs should be run. It IS ultimately up to you, and I'm not suggesting in any way that you should change your blogging style just to please me. Just realise that it is ridiculous.

rant

Blogging, in my humble opinion, has brought out the very worst in writing (and people as well).

Firstly, on Content. Honestly, who wants to know what you did today? A quick and simple answer would be 'nobody'. Now of course this isn't true, but it certainly is the case for the majority of us. If you absolutely MUST tell me what you did at 3.54:32 this afternoon, please, please make it brief, and explain to me how that is significant. Of course you're entitled to write about something if it was significant to you, but please be interesting.

Coherence! I know you like your pretty ellipsis and semi-colon. It doesn't mean they should be sprinkled like icing all over your entry. It makes you sound stupid. Poetry, unless you happen to be good at it, is also a strict no-no. Bad poetry is... bad. It neither reflects your current mood, current activities, nor aesthetic talent. Avoid it.
If bloggers are exhibitionists, you are running around with your underwear on your head.

EDIT. post-bitch: please be clear when using the second person. Lines like "Why did you do it? Why? Why?" often leave the reader confused as to whether he just unwittingly killed your parents. Unless you are referring to the readership in general, always identify when you use the second person. EDIT-EDIT - Otherwise, just don't bloody post it on your blog! MUST you push the limits of exhibitionism? I really wouldn't terribly like to know if you just had a spat with your girlfriend/boyfriend/pet.

Secondly, on Style. Lyk OMG. Plz lrn some proper speling kae? I mean, aftr over 10 yrs in sch mebbe its abt time you learn proper grammar an spelling and mebbe how to EXPRESS YOURSELF PROPERLY! Yes, I AM a bigoted, elitist bitch. Live with it, and fix your grammar. Appending 'sh' to the end of every other word does not make you cute. It does not make you interesting either. It just makes you sound like an idiot with a lisp.

EDIT - 2 hours later. I've realised I get amazingly pissed at people who love to use italics.
It IS annoying. You know you do it. I know it's all new-age and novelty and all, but for goodness's sakes, it's just a bunch of slanty letters! Get over it! The old-fashioned, obsolete "double inverted commas" often work just as well!
Oh, please save me.

Thirdly, on Strategy. LAYOUT! If you must blog, and I'm not saying you should, maybe make the main text of your blog the MAIN section of your website. As much as you're an interesting, fun-loving, enlightened person, I think most others are tired of reading your elaborate vital statistics while squinting at the narrow column of words that happens to be your latest entry. I don't know, maybe this is some inherent limitation in html coding, which i'm quite honestly useless at.
What's worse than this is refusing to use paragraphs. Paragraph breaks are the heart and soul of legible writing. An already badly thought-out, ungrammatical, badly spelled article which rambles on and on with no hint of reprieve can be quite off-putting. On the other extreme, having a respectable space for you to post your latest entry on, but actually
blogging
like
this
is
kind
of
irritating
don't
you
think?
Maybe not. It IS your blog after all. All I'm saying is that if you blog like that people might not go to your blog, and you might be flamed by me, and my supreme almighty self-righteous anger.

Bloggers were invented to torture people like me. Do me a favour, yeah?

/rant

I feel better now.

-Adam