I've realised what's different now from the last 18 years of my life - I've never been this alone. Every day of my life was always begun to the promise of going to school and meeting classmates who for all that they annoyed me, were genuinely interesting people (for the most part). We had to spend all our time together, for better or for worse. Now there's no such assurance.

On the MRT today I was struck by how I've navigated my own course for now, and nobody's following me through it - no classmates, CCA mates, church friends. Just me. There are moments of fleeting contact - running into friends on the bus. After hours jam sessions. Going back to RJ to teach the juniors. But it's not the same - I'm aware that my life momentarily occupies the same space as someone else's, and will inevitably lead me back to other places.

Being me, I enjoy the solitude but I'm also a little lonely.

adam

I guess I should update.

It's been a wild week. It started on thursday with dance classes and social dancing at 9. That was fun, even if I can't exactly dance properly. Friday was SEA jam. I took a beginner's class taught by Frankie Manning himself, which was pretty enlightening. Other than that, my lack of experience kind of prevented me from dancing a hell lot so I got out after that. Shall go next year and murder my legs.

Saturday was Kelly's party. THAT was wild. We all got drunk (except hyqel.) and spent a few hours malingering in a park. People are -very- funny when high.

Sunday was teaching Cathechism class with the LoGgers O.o that was also wild in a different sort of way. P4 kids are no joke. Justin Sim, you are a brave brave man. Later on I went to southbridge in a sort of fatigued haze. I believe I played a total train wrecked 'Milestones' and then I called 'That's All' which went rather well. The mojito definitely contributed to my guitar histrionics.

Yesterday was the Ben n Jerry's audition. That sucked. I think we played pretty alright but evidently they were looking for more of a pop band so I think i'm giving up on that gig.

Today I am unbelievably exhausted and a little emotionally drained. Okay, very emotionally drained. I think I'll stay home.

adam

It really does look like I'm finally growing up. This is disturbing. This is unsettling. I can suddenly empathise with sufferers of teenage angst. I mean, make what fun you will of teenagers, but this is a fucking nasty time to be alive.

All you army boys complain that your brains are rotting in camp. Well guess what it isn't really that different here in Real Life. Since most of my schoolmates are either (you guessed it) in camp or at work for the girls, there really isn't anyone to talk to most of the time. I guess I do get moments here and then when people are free but that is pretty much the extent of it.

I think I'll have to get used to this. Face it, bringing together interesting people was just about the only thing school had going for it and now that it's out I'm floundering a little.