Hmm. I actually do like John Cage's work. A lot.

It begins when you stop viewing music as an object defined by notes and spaces but as what he calls a 'process' ... dunno, very difficult to explain but I intuitively got it when I heard one of his pieces. Can't remember what it was called, something with random electronic noise mixed with an opera singer.

adam

Merry Christmas

So comes it a few days late. Merry Christmas, everyone. And especially to those i might never see again.

adam

art ensemble of chicago

Just heard their stuff for the first time at the Esplanade Library when i picked up a copy of Fanfare for the Warriors. I am very intrigued by this band. Their approach to the avant-garde is very different from Coleman's and Coltrane's.

Take example: Their cover of Thelonious Monk's 'Round Midnight' - 5 minutes of blips and squeaks and bells interspersed with long periods of silence. I believe it's Lester Bowie who occasionally interjects with some wonderful trumpet lines. The music is peaceful and somehow troubling. What surprised me is how easily i reacted to it : this is not noise. This is unequivocably music. When finally they segue into the theme of 'Round Midnight' it is with infinite grace - it sounds like a simple continuation of the previous few minutes. They treat the theme with the expected looseness and collectivity, but it is rousing.

Worth checking out.

adam

Drinks mixing

My awesome uncle Chris taught me a little about drinks mixing. I've been experimenting. Today:

1. Gin (just gin).
Preparation : Poured some vermouth into a glass with ice and stirred, then strained out the vermouth to coat the glass. Put a shot of gin in, stirred and strained into a cocktail glass.

Tastes a little better than just neat gin. Maybe a little more vermouth next time.

2. Gimlet
Preparation: made some sugar syrup : 2 parts brown sugar, 1 part water, heat until dissolves.
1 part sugar syrup, 1 part lime juice, 4 parts gin.

Tastes pretty awesome!

adam

hmm. i'm a little tipsy now. Not very high alcohol tolerance. But I noticed that my typing is always the last to go. Makes for interesting statements like 'Oh my word i'm a little drunk now. Maybe I shouldn't have had that last drink...'

Need to talk

Exhaustion, exhilaration, burned nerves, the smell of smoke, morning, evening, a dusky scent at the top of your sinuses, hangovers, dry headache, wet bar, cold nights, warm mornings, jacket, pullover, sun, damp, cobblestones.

Motion sickness. Trains at night. Sleeping at 250 km/h. Blankets and jackets. Moist sunlight. Hotel. Toilet. Headache. Backache. Heartache. Tired. Lively. Frosty lungs. Feet on heater. Window.
Taken enough and too little. Excited and burned out. Drunk and hung over. Enough is enough. I want more. Give me your hand. Put it in your pocket. Combien ca coute. C'est bon. Lying on the floor. Hopeful.

One more year. One more month. Too little time. Too much history. Two days in Spain. Eternity. Feather of a sparrow. Train track. Timetable.

Waiting.

EDIT: I just found out about this. Joe Zawinul passed away on the 11th of September, 2007. RIP. I guess this review comes at an interesting time.

Weather Report -
Night Passage

A bit like sex, but without all the bad bits. Yep.

The entire album is almost uniformly strong, with highlights like Jaco's solo on 'Port of Entry' (and also the last bit where everyone comes in at about 300 bpm - cheering totally justified. I danced.)
Acrobatic, danceable, yet resolutely intelligent all the same. I might go as far as to say this may even top Heavy Weather.

Highlights.

1. 3 views of a secret - interesting when compared to Jaco's big band rendition - much more intimate, Wayne Shorter does wonderful things with the melody that just don't sound the same on the harmonica in the big band version. Zawinul has a trademark cascading solo near the end - reminiscent of 'A remark you made' and brilliant considering the difficulty of Jaco's chords.

2. Port of Entry - wonderfully off-kilter, immensely funky but all the band members put in that little bit of confusion to mix things up. Crazy solo by Jaco. All of their music has an emotional logic which triumphed over a lot of the rampant fusion-y nonsense that was prevalent at the time. No chords for the sake of chords.

3. Shorter solo on 'Fast City'. It's like the Miles Davis quintet all over again. Shorter displays that he's lost none of his mojo in playing fusion. Weather Report proves also that they can swing if they want to, critics be damned.

4. Rockin' in Rhythm - a Duke Ellington cover completely electrified. Utterly shocking, but also incredibly fun O.O. Zawinul's synth clarinet a la Benny Goodman is hilarious.

-Adam

Ok I was wrong about Radiohead. In Rainbows kind of grew on me... parts of it. What originally annoyed me was their apparent lack of any sort of harmonic direction. Unsatisfying chord progressions and all. Later I kind of realised that their genius is their mastery of texture rather than harmony. The harmony is still annoying - but the songs as a whole are impactful, atmospheric without becoming too ambient.

adam

EDIT: It's available for download on their website I believe, and you can pay as much as you want! Go check it out today. Every cent you pay goes to Radiohead, not some evil record company.

Radiohead. What do I say about Radiohead? I can't tell if i like them or not - they have a couple of good songs, to be sure. Mostly, the issue is that the rest of my life will follow the following cycle:
1. Buys/downloads a Radiohead album
2. Doesn't get it. Puts it away for a month.
3. Revisits it.
4. Doesn't get it.

You know, I get Ornette Coleman. I get late John Coltrane. I even get Albert Ayler on my good days. But Radiohead? No fucking way.

adam

It's over. Exuberance knows no words.

Have some new radicals :

You Only Get What You Give

Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age fourteen, they got you down on your knees
So polite, we're busy still saying please
Frienemies
Who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their mercedes benz
First we run, and then we laugh 'till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget we only get what we give
[I'm comin' home baby]
[You're tops, give it to me now]

Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
We're flat broke
But hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find a friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way I'm right behind
Now say you're mine

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
Don't let go
I feel the music in you
Fly high
What's real can't die
We only get what we give
You're gonna get what you give
Just dont be afraid to live

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney love and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Eh, 11.04 pm. The day before the day before Lit paper. I am starting to fray a little.

I'm really not stressed by the A levels - I just find it tedious.
I wish life would pick itself up; dust off; get off my back; something like that or other -
I've been trying to distract myself
This is one of the ways
I need a drink. I need a hug.
Spent most of today alternately memorising Shakespeare and searching for silly Flash games
then blogging vertically

I feel like everything is coming to a soupy, sticky, crusty end, and it'll build up on the edges of my sanity like the crust of evaporated soup and slowly reduce the liveable portion of my psyche to a little 10 cent coin sized spot where i guess i'll lie down and sleep for awhile.

Sigh.

adam

Pat Metheny Group - The Way Up

Bought this album a couple of days ago together with Brubeck plays Brubeck. A totally different experience. If hard-pressed to metaphorise, as I often am, I would describe this album as a souffle - certainly not brain food, but within its limitations it's masterfully done. I think the greatest achievement of The Way Up is how it manages to be sincerely romantic without overdoing it or become sleazy or cheesy.

The best bits, in my opinion - The section at the end of part one where the band really gets into a swing thing. The beginning of part one in all it's odd rock-ballad goodness. The re-statement of the theme in part 3 - delicate and then climactic, but always with admirable restraint given the subject material, which a lesser musician may have devolved into sloppy romantic dribble. I also personally like Lyle Mays' piano solo in part 2, although in other bits he does tend to drift into rather noodly new-age stuff.

Conclusion : It's brilliant stuff, very accessible but not inane. Only Pat Metheny could have done this.

EDIT: I neglected to mention that the album mentioned below comes not with one, but two (!) liner essays, both written by Brubeck. The first has apparently passed into use in art and theatre schools as an introduction to improvisation, and the second is Brubeck gloating over this fact in a very smug tone.

Dave Brubeck - Brubeck Plays Brubeck

This solo piano album by Dave Brubeck is certainly interesting - not a perfect album by any means, but there's enough insight into the genius that is Brubeck to make it worthwhile.

Brubeck has often been needled by critics for trying - and failing - to be classical about jazz. I feel that these critics kind of miss the point - firstly, in Brubeck's own words in the liner notes of this album, there's nothing wrong with that: jazz was originally a hybrid music anyway. Secondly, I think they miss the partly tongue-in-cheek humour that characterises Brubeck's playing : he has no grandiose ideas about unifying the dual traditions of classical music and jazz; rather his oddly classical quotes and phrases have a sort of manic quality, a kind of fuck you to both his classically-trained past and the army of bud powell imitators surrounding him. Brubeck knew that jazz wasn't in the idiom but in the improvisation, and legitimately conjectured that he could play whatever the hell he wanted as long as he could swing. And he could swing the legs off a table.

That said, the album does have its weak moments. Brubeck's compositions are, I feel, rather overshadowed by his improvisational prowess. Some of the numbers feel a bit weak melody-wise. 'Walkin' Line' especially seems unsatisfying in the melody department, and other tracks do have their awkward bits where you can feel Brubeck's characteristic humour cracking a little. Despite this, however, the tunes 'In Your Own Sweet Way' and 'The Duke' have become jazz standards, the former covered by Miles Davis only a few months before.

These are just first impressions however. How the album ages, i guess we'll only know later.

adam

I've been listening to Coltrane's A Love Supreme recently. It's an album that took awhile to sink in but wow, did it sink in. I think the man may possibly be the only person who could single-handedly restore my faith in spirituality.

Compared to his later work, A Love Supreme seems tame but to dismiss it as emotionally lightweight is to miss the more subtle intensity that Coltrane displays : throughout the four-part suite the depth of his playing is breathtaking in its sustained power. Many critics have said that there is not a wasted note in the suite. Coltrane meant every note he played ; the fact that this album proved less of a skronk-fest than later attempts doesn't detract from his emotional sincerity - it just proves a different vehicle.

While Coltrane's later work tended to alienate his audience (and some of his band members) the members of his quartet seem to understand his approach perfectly on A Love Supreme. In particular, Elvin Jones' drumming on Resolution is almost inhumanly intense - straddling the sheets of percussive noise characteristic of the later free jazz drummers like Rashied Ali and the refined swing of bebop drummers, with hints of the elastic quality of the Bill Evans piano trio. Elvin Jones later left the quartet, at odds with Coltrane's musical direction - it is easy here to notice the tension between the earlier swing-based beat and the later pulse-based drumming. The album is quite possibly the pinnacle of Jones' and Coltrane's collaboration - as far as Jones was willing to go in terms of the avant-garde, and Coltrane's departure point.

I originally felt that the fourth part of the suite, Psalm, was a bit ponderous, the timpani a rather ostentatious addition - again, missing the point totally. Its slowness lends it weight that is sometimes lost on a casual listening. Psalm is almost painful to listen to, as if every phrase were purging you of some long-forgotten sin. I think that's what Coltrane's intent was. The suite is a magnificent monument to faith.

adam

Breakfast at Tiffany's

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

So much angst. We're all mired in it; the exams are tearing us apart, from each other then from ourselves. I've noticed we all cling to each other more closely now, like we're holding on to our constituent atoms for each other. Holding together the places that we can't reach ourselves.

Got this from zhuoyi's blog: 50 things which make you happy. It's 12.32 am, i'm feeling fucked up, and pretty bored, so i guess i'll do it. In no particular order:

1. having friends to talk to. Especially now.
2. music.
3. TV. especially now... i guess we all need our brainless entertainment.
4. long walks
5. silence. I usually go without my headphones nowadays. There's plenty of time to listen to music at home. I feel like i'm missing out on too much if i encapsulate myself when i go out.
6. playing the guitar. Even when I don't know what to play, i guess it helps.
7. good food.
8. alcohol. G & Ts for the win. Getting drunk is pretty unpleasant though.
9. gaming. when i allow myself. I'm currently playing starcraft, trying to finish the campaign without cheating. 3 missions to go!
10. chatting with classmates when we get the time
11. making fun of rayner
12. making fun of rayner
13. chocolate
14. ice cream
15. poker with the boys. getting the stuffing kicked out of me.
16. my cat desdemona
17. the sound of birds in the morning
18. being inside when it rains outside
19. writing
20. books - mostly lit texts, but still awesome
21. the complete yes minister on dvd
22. a special person - feelings are boring; kissing is awesome.
23. new clothes
24. jam sessions with hyqel and xiumin and the juniors
25. teaching the juniors
26. the sound of a double bass
27. the new-album smell.
28. liner essays.
29. the sense of accomplishment you get after you finish restringing the bugger.
30. random doodlings of ominous coffee mugs and sinister saline drips.
31. writing my name in huge letters on worksheets in highlighter so it covers the entire first page
32. discussing music with people
33. writer's blog; even if we do fail occasionally.
34. blog-surfing. if i don't have a life, i invoke my right to live vicariously through others. pity all the people whose blogs i visit have no life either.
35. just sitting and thinking
36. a good joke. if possible at the expense of somebody uptight.
37. coco pops. breakfast of champions.
38. milk and bandung.
39. sashimi.
40. wondering about the future
41. wishing i could fly
42. cycling round the neighbourhood. racing down the hill at ~ mach 7. stunning pedestrians. they're called that for a reason, you know.
43. watching people dance lindy hop.
44. playing with thompson jazz band.
45. doing gigs with mark and debbo
46. indulging in nostalgia
47. a cheerful atmosphere
48. smiles
49. companionship
50. not being alone anymore.

sigh. i need some of that shit.

adam

List of dead heroes:

John Coltrane (1967)
Jimi Hendrix (1970)
Jaco Pastorius (1987)
Stevie Ray Vaughan (1990)
Miles Davis (1991)
Kurt Cobain (1994)
James Brown (2006)
Michael Brecker (2007)

H3 lit is OVER! woot.

Okay, in retrospect it was quite fun. Although I realise I didn't actually know much about the subject, but no matter. Kudos also to Abby, Hyqel, Ryan and Zhiying for finishing their h3s alive and sane (mostly). That's one more subject out of the way.
We had a h3 lit party at the minicanteen on friday after submission date. Abby dared me to give a mars bar to a complete stranger (female, of course) and tell them 'congratulations.' It proved fun enough that Ryan tried it twice, and we managed to get Abby to give the last tiramisu to some poor looking dude too. Heh.

adam

I've given up so much for my studies.
I miss jazz practice. I miss thompson jazz band. I miss going out with friends or hanging around southbridge at midnight and playing 'softly as in a morning sunrise' on a pint of beer. I miss waking up at 8 in the morning and knowing that i'll be practicing until 11 at night. I miss gaming until my eyes are red. I miss having time to read things that aren't my lit texts. I miss crazy after hours dinners debating the merits of Nirvana and Ornette Coleman. I miss concerts.

When i'm done with this shit, i'm out of here and if I have one more look at the bloody A levels I will gut it and strangle it with its fucking intestines, mark my words you fucking MOE assholes I hope you all asphyxiate on your big fucking inflated egos and go to the special hell reserved for the extremely stupid.

I really love Sinatra. His music has a depth and breadth of experience that I find rare in many people. When you listen to him you get the feeling that he's lived life, that he's somehow encompassed the wonders of the world in his mind and you can't not take it seriously. It hits you in your gut.

It makes me wonder about what it'll be like living elsewhere. I don't exactly like Singapore but i'm sure anywhere else just looks rosy from this perspective. It won't be peachy anywhere, I know. But I still have a yearning to go out and live somewhere else where the air's different and the people speak another language (or at least speak English differently) I need to see the world. I've seen too much of it on TV, in songs or books but I need to see it for myself. I think it's inexcuseable to be cloistered in this age. The internet generation has seen too much on the web to have an excuse not to feel some kind of irrepressible wonder. I think of myself as a child of the internet, I think probably one of many. But rather than keep us locked in our rooms surfing all day I think it's given us so much to think about that we can't be walled into this tiny country anymore. I need to get away...

adam

It's been a crazy few weeks. A lot's happened.

Mugging's finally approaching a state which can very approximately said to be on schedule. That's a plus, always. And there've been... other issues close to my heart.

All I want to say is that i'm very thankful and that I regret nothing.

adam

Free jazz - one third dissonance for its own sake, one third free modulation between keys, and one third actualy twelve-tone melody. This as far as I can tell.

adam

edit: and of course, one-hundred per cent blues.

This is the state of my life.

I have just realised that while listening to RHCP songs i can actually pick out the GERUNDS in Anthony Kiedis' rapping. For example,
'East side love is living on the west end', from 'Can't Stop' - the word 'living' is a gerund.
I was actually listening to the track when that line went by and I remember actually stopping to think 'hey, that's a gerund!'. I think i'm doomed forever to be frustrated by the grammatic inferiority of my peers.

For those of you who don't know what a gerund is:
It is proof of your sanity. Cling to it. Cling to it.

adam

Learning point #1. Love isn't about feelings: it's about decisions because choices are what make us human.

Learning point #2. Ornette Coleman contains so much concentrated awesomeness that he should be classified as a hazardous substance. Seriously, fuck your pansy smooth jazz rubbish - you have no idea what you're missing out on.

adam

My classmates are all depressed now for some reason. I think it's the season it's like seasonal affective disorder only it isn't winter or fall - it's EXAM SEASON fuck you. I thought it was just my personal issues with the nature of existence but well it seems i'm wrong everyone's angsting their asses off. We could sing some sickeningly catchy feel-good-get-together tune and sit in a circle and hug and cry I guess WE'RE ALLLLL IN THIS TOGETHER or something like that or maybe we could just lock ourselves up in our sad dark little rooms and start mugging.

adam

It's existential angst week. I had another anxiety attack last night... one of the worst in years.

Fuck that. I refuse to give in to despair.
Was brought back from the brink this morning by John Coltrane's Resolution. THAT is worship music. And i have some wonderful friends who I really don't deserve.

I'm still a bit panicky now but I'm holding on. It'll pass.

Stevie Ray Vaughan can make the truth come out of a guitar, I swear. Eat my dust, Steve Vai!

adam

From Abby's blog:

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician   Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Social Nerd
Literature Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

I figured i'd score higher on lit actually but apparently i don't read enough books.
Damnit. WTF is a 'social nerd'? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

adam

Okay, Mr. A Levels. I'll play your fucking game. You WILL regret this.

adam

Rest in peace, Thaddeus. I never knew you, but...
argh. Condolonces to any friends who may visit here.

AFTER THE A LEVELS

Here's my to do list - if it gets any bigger i think it'll undergo gravitational collapse and become a black hole.

1. Start a band.
2. Start a band.
3. Get gigs and get paid.

Now that's out of the way... In no particular order.

4. Learn to dance lindy hop.
5. Go overseas and away from the urban cesspit that is Singapore.
6. Finish reading Ulysses for the ultimate win.
7. Portrait of the artist as a young man for additional win.
8. Party. Get high. Get drunk.
9. Train for army. Want to be fit-ish i guess. Actually just an excuse to cycle. I love cycling.
10. Catch up with old friends who may be leaving, say tearful final goodbyes. Punch a few people i've vowed to punch once in my life. Ee Chong, you're on the list.
11. Learn to drive.
12. Learn to fly (O.o)
13. Fly.
14. Visit the north-sea jazz festival with uncle fabian.
15. Go on a round trip of every jazz bar in singapore. Start with harry's at esplanade. Must catch Paul Ponnudorai again and profess my undying love.
16. Practice until my fingers bleed.
17. Save up for the sexy fretless nylon string guitar at ranking. Pray nobody else buys it.
18. Play a real game of DnD. Hopefully find an experienced DM.
19. dittto shadowrun
20. ditto V:TR
21. buy an xbox 360 somehow and/or new comp. Game until my eyes bleed.
22. Learn to play the double-bass.
23. Learn to play clarinet.
24. Learn to play saxophone.
25. Learn to play trumpet.
26. Learn to play hammond organ.
27. Learn to play bridge.
28. Play more poker with xun and terence. Win their money while they're drunk.
29. Learn to play the mandolin and/or ukelele.
30. Buy CDs. Eric Dolphy, Bill Evans, Miles Davis, Tribal Tech, Dave Brubeck. For starters.
31. Get a real job.
32. Did you seriously believe #31? The hell no.
33. Retake SAT1s. Do SAT2s. probably lit and math, maybe bio.
34. Practice for my piano ATCL. Refrain from sucking.
35. Redecorate my room. With a bulldozer - but failing that, paint is good. And furniture.
36. Learn jazz piano from xiumin. McCoy Tyner <3.
37. Write more poetry/short stories.
38. Go out with important people.
39. ...like politicians. yes.
40. Train with the netrek team.

Yes.

adam

New template. Hmm... i'm not sure yet if i like it. Tagboard's at the bottom - not that anyone tags here, ever, heh.

Exams are the day after tomorrow and i'm screeeeeeeeewwweed. Damnation...

adam

Totally appropriate.

Don't Get Around Much Anymore

Missed the Saturday dance
Heard they crowded the floor
Couldn't bear it without you
Don't get around much anymore

Thought I'd visit the club
Got as far as the door
They'd have asked me about you
Don't get around much anymore

Oh, Darling I guess my mind's more at ease
But nevertheless, why stir up memories

Been invited on dates
Might have gone but what for
Awfully different without you
Don't get around much anymore

-adam

Been swinging through euphoria and depression for the last few weeks.
I'd forgotten how much i need music to remind me that things are still worth waking up for.

adam

New favourite webcomic. This is genius:

Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
http://www.bohemiandrive.com/comics/npwil.html

adam

Just when i thought i'd had the universe well and truly figured out, once and for all...

Wow, I got a lot of presents. Thanks so much to all my classmates who got me stuff: abby, trees, sophie, zhiying, eli sharon and nat, and to the mind-bogglingly awesome jazz club people. I feel the <3.

'Get high?'
'I hadda give it up.'

- William Gibson, Neuromancer

The more I listen to Coltrane, the more I think of Shakespeare - they both manage such an incredible density of meaning that just the mere reading or listening leaves you breathless and slightly dizzy.

And the more I tell myself I must study the more I want to lock myself up and spend the rest of my life learning to play like that.

adam

... and the world conspires to keep music with me. Just when I had every intention of starting my studies.

Jazz is a capricious mistress. Her and that piece of worm-ridden modal filth that Miles Davis came up with. They're conspiring to frustrate me, I swear it.

adam

We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all its just another brick in the wall.
All in all youre just another brick in the wall.

-Pink Floyd

So i went to the room today cos Yvonne told me they're having practice. And i sat there and I almost reached for my phone to call everyone and get them to hurry up and practice.

It hit me then. I miss my job. Goddamn i hated a lot of it but now it's gone (and i don't like to admit this) I miss it a lot. It's like a phantom limb now I don't have it anymore sometimes I reflexively go through the motions, like standing around worrying my ass off that some particular band CMI oh no oh no what am I going to do the gig is on saturday!

It's not my business anymore. I mean, the standard of the jazz club will always be my business. But now i'm only going to be teaching. It's up to Royce to organise the where and the when and the what. I suspect i'm not such a good teacher as I think but i'll learn, also.

Shit.

adam

So it's over. I guess for most people it could be hard to fathom how important the club is without actually having been in it and kind of smelled the air during a jam session. Or without mark's constant nagging that really impressed his vision onto me, and it's also a difficult one to see without having been there.

So many regrets but if there's one thing jazz has taught me it's that the only difficult decision is the one you're making now because it's the only one you control. Your past could be a fiction and your future could be a daydream but what happens now is yours and it's real and it's in some ways the only thing you can count on. So hey, i'll move on from my mistakes; it's been fun.

I'd like to say a big thank you to my wonderful EXCO who did all the work while I was daydreaming:

Huang for being the oft-needed voice of reason and supporting my crazed post-bop tendencies. Also for being the only other guy in the EXCO.
Xiumin for covering up for my utter administrative incompetence and for being an absolutely swinging pianist.
Clara for being the hardest-working secretary EVER and making sure everything ran smoothly (albeit is smoothly as jazz will ever get)
Chermaine for being a ball of sunshine despite pretending to be angsty (rubbish!). Especially when I needed the smiles.
Sara for being there for me to talk to when things got difficult, and for putting up with my nonsense.

It may be over, but it sure as hell isn't OVER. Alumni here I come!

adam

Bought 2 albums today. John Coltrane's A Love Supreme and Herbie Hancock's Head Hunters.
A Love Supreme is concentrated post-bop awesomeness. Massive awesomeness.
Head Hunters is funk before it got stupid. Fantastic stuff.

It's tomorrow grrrrrrrhhhh. Then it'll be finally over and I guess i'll have to get to studying which I really don't want to do but oh well A levels loom there isn't much choice I guess. I want it to last forever but I'm only getting one more night. I'll make the most of it.

Life is not measured in durations but in moments.

adam

It'll be over in 3 days. Nothing in the world has made me feel so out of my depth like the chairmanship. Sometimes I'm so afraid of letting people down that I can't do anything but lie down somewhere and cry. At the end of it I hope I've done an OK job - it's been fun but I'll be glad when it's over.

adam

EAT MY DUST PW

honk

A spectacular vindication of the principle that there are 'no wrong notes- only wrong resolutions' is Dave Liebman's wild rendition of the sound of music classic 'My Favourite Things'. About halfway through his solo the guitar-and-bass rhythm section cuts him loose to explore freer territory with lots of emotive honking - and somewhere in there Liebman cuts loose on a huge abrasive flurry of notes that stretch the tenor sax range from the squeaking highs to the gasping lows and ends with a huge 'plonk' on the 3rd of the tonic chord.

At this point, all is truly right with the world.

adam

Southbridge

Went to jam at jazz@southbridge tonight with shawn. Played two long pieces, Softly as in a Morning Sunrise and what is quickly becoming my signature tune, Soul Cowboy.

Overall I think it was a pretty good jam, in that there weren't any harmonic clams or sudden dry spots and everything sort of flowed, but I think it was also lacking a bit in coherence. I tend to noodle or play a lot of outside licks when I run out of ideas. Comping was predictably bad - too soft, out of time and repetitive - will have to work on that. Mario Serio said I had 'nice lines' (although i'm sure he was just being nice - i need a reason to feel good) and I got a free drink from some guy who turned out to be an SSO player (!). Ken, I think.

Anyway, I've decided on an after A levels project. I'll need to get a band together to see if we can tackle the late-50s music of Miles Davis (pre-electric period, second great quintet) or any post-bop kind of styles. I've pretty much figured that's where I want to go musically from now. Of course it's still a bit far off, but a guy can dream! Mark will be in UK by then, so i'm taking offers for a bassist slot.

adam

EDIT: Martinis taste fucking awesome. Should have ordered one for myself. In fact, will do just that when I turn 18.

EDIT: I'm also looking for a trumpeter. But don't bother unless you are excellent.

EDIT: I will call my band Sex Machine. In honour of the late James Brown, and also inspired by the fantastic US band Sex Mob. The word Jazz originally had a lot of sexual connotations, if you all didn't know.

I think the state of my room reflects the state of my mind.


Currently it is very, very messy.

THOMPSON BIG BAND BASH

Hello to the diminutive readership of this blog! I'm performing at the BOTANIC GARDENS on the 25th of march with thompson jazz band. It's at 5 pm so come and watch! And don't miss the Thoroughly Embarrassing Guitar Solo either.

Ulysses is killing me. Day 3, i'm at page 21 - which is a good 7 pages a day. To tell the truth I don't quite understand Joyce's writing at all. He has a certain sense of humour which is pretty absurd, but no LOL moments, so far.

Also, he uses 'scrotumtightening' as an adjective. Whee intellectually degenerate happiness!

adam

a heap of broken images

Just went to Kinokuniya today to pick up a copy of Ulysses! I feel excited at the prospect of slogging through the 600-odd page nightmare. Interestingly, I was talking to Cheng at the Lit (J) section - we couldn't find a second copy of Ulysses which cost less than 30 bucks - and we wanted to change the terms of our massive Ulysses-reading suicide pact to something like a Portrait of the artist as a young man-reading suicide pact and then Cheng said
- No, but Ulysses is the challenge
and some random woman said, NO, Finnegans Wake is the challenge

which came out of the blue but was roughly consistent with what I'd been told. Hmm.

School is a miserable slog. Everyone comes, everyone goes, nothing happens, it's awful. But I know i'll have to start studying at some point which is a TERRIBLE prospect but inevitable I guess.

I just read Abby's blog and it got me Thinking. I complain a lot about school but if it ever came to the crunch I doubt i'd give it up. I mean, I could probably do without studying. Or homework. Or insidious references to invisible poultry. But School... maybe not. I think it's become too much a part of me that when I'm finally cut loose I think i'll take a few months if not a whole year just adjusting to the shock of not having to wake up in the morning and grope about for my uniform or having to wander about the house half-naked in the unholy hours of the morning griping about yesterday's frisbee game in which I sprained my knee. That's a scary thought.
It's scary that despite my unspoken promise to myself that I would never let school become my life, I've gotten emotionally involved in it (and it's a terrible thing to be emotionally involved with the enemy). There are some baggages i'll be leaving in the corridors of RJ, and Raffles Institution.

I didn't ask for it. I've tried for years to make school inconsequential because I can't deal with responsibility, so that I could do it with my eyes closed. There's still things which, against my better judgement, I like about school. And i hate that.

adam

A new blues that I can't explain

Woke up this morning, I feel 'round for my shoes
You know 'bout that babe, had them old walkin' blues.
Woke up this morning, I feel 'round for my shoes,
You know 'bout that babe, Lord, I had them old walkin' blues.

Leavin' this morning, I had to go ride the blinds.
I've been mistreated, don't mind dying.
This morning, I had to go ride the blinds,
I've been mistreated, Lord, I don't mind dying.

People tell me walkin' blues ain't bad;
Worst old feeling I most ever had.
People tell me the old walkin' blues ain't bad.
Well it's the worst old feeling, Lord, I most ever had.

--

My favourite blues ever.

I've come to the startling realisation that jazz is the blues and the blues is jazz and there isn't any difference. Ornette coleman plays the same blues that Robert Johnson did. Of course it's an infuriating matter to tell anyone what you mean by 'the blues' - at some fundamental level it exists only as an abstract idea or just a sheer feeling. But I'll have a go.

The blues is a descriptor for the African-American experience of life - it originated as a kind of working song, for shouting in the cotton-fields where a lot of african-americans worked as slaves, then later as sharecroppers.

So, on one level when we say 'blues' we're talking about a genre of music, the so-called 'country blues' which was a direct outgrowth of these working songs. On the other hand, the sheer number of other things which have been attributed to 'the blues' is mind-bogglingly upsetting. The Original Dixieland Jass Band plays 'St. Louis Blues'. Robert Johnson sings the blues. John Mayer says he's got a 'new blues I can't explain'. Charlie Parker tells B.B. King - 'I'm a blues player, B, we're all blues players.' But their music is worlds apart.

So where does that leave the blues? Nowhere, it seems. I don't have answers, if you were hoping. Sometimes you get an inkling though, of what it all means - what I have now, is that the blues means honesty. It means uncontrived emotion. What charlie parker and B.B. King and ornette coleman are playing sounds impossibly different, but at the centre of it is humanity, an uncluttered humanity; an african-american humanity.

Uncluttered is an interesting experience. What i've come to perceive is that some novice players tend to play better than people with very advanced technique. Case in point : I play the blues better on electric bass than on guitar. Highly disturbing, considering how much time I practice on the six-stringed annoyance. The explanation, as I see it, is simple enough : some technically proficient players tend to impose ideas on their playing. It doesn't work, it causes improvisation to sound contrived, unnatural, un-bluesy. What works is an un-judgemental state of listening, where what has been played and what IS being played filters through the collective of experiences present in our subconscious, and is used to come up with something else. No amount of intellectual posturing can account for the complexity and the emotion present in our experiences. THAT's the blues.

adam

Life is good.

School still sucks but school =/= life SO THERE. *rude gesture*

In any case, managed to one-up council today by organising an en-masse pulling-out of all the bands in talentime due to unacceptable working conditions. They panicked and caved in immediately. Haha. I guess revenge is slow and sweet.

I kind of felt bad about feeling good about that for awhile.

HELLO CRUNCH I AM SORRY YOU HAD TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF MY COUNCIL-DIRECTED ANGST. I DON'T HATE YOU. I JUST HATE YOUR ORGANISATION.
(could someone tell crunch please?)

Talentime song went pretty well too, considering all the stage-presence pep talk i've been getting from terence. Still not perfect, but my twitching-and-flailing act is still a step up from standing still. I guess.

adam

I've had a horrible week. Like most horrible weeks it took many little horrible things to make.
The first horrible thing was coming to terms with studying. I'm still in a transition state, my fingertips still itch a bit where I press the strings, but I'm doing alright. I heard Wynton Marsalis play a minor blues somewhere, and I nearly lost it right then. I needed to figure that line out, but oh well. Mixture of laziness and despair.

I bought a file, and I put all of my things in it. It's grey.

The second horrible thing was jazz club, and everything that goes with it. I'm losing control already (which kind of shows how much of a control freak I am) , can't deal with anyone, not sure where we're heading or what we should be doing. Just really low on self-confidence. At least I hope some of the j1s will stick around. First prac was a nightmare (not because it was bad, but because I didn't know what was going on).

The third thing is church. I've stopped going for youth meetings on sunday, though I still go for mass. What's the point. I don't believe in half the things you all believe in. You're wonderful people but I feel like a hypocrite standing there. Please go ahead anyway.

So, angst, depression. Whatever. I still rate very highly on the happiness and satisfaction scale (see blogthings), which may prove that i'm a bit of a masochist. At least i'm not bored.

And there's still stuff to do. I vow to live forever by never having enough time to lie down somewhere and die.



adam

I guess this should go on my other blog, but whatever.
I got to play at the esplanade!
I am really happy about that. Got dragged down to the outdoor theatre by mark and shawn to join the mosaic jam and there were all sorts of pro people who played the pants off us. We went up anyway (kicking and screaming, as it were) and I think we did ok. I was very, very scared.

But... wow. Achievement, even though it was just an open jam and we kind of < everybody else. It was fun and I got to meet all the cool people backstage. I kept the little 'artist' tag they gave me too .

adam

I hate this. I hate everything.

It's 2007. 2007 means J2.
J2 means A levels.
A levels means studying.
Studying means no practice.

First off, I hate studying.
Studying is for the sort of people who grow up to be withered shrubberies in some meaningless post in a backward university, teaching the next generation of withered shrubberies.

I am also deathly afraid that when it comes to the crunch i.e. practice or study, I will be completely unable to choose the latter.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

adam