I just came back from camp. Army is suck. But on the upside, there is music! Back home, that is - nothing feels better than coming back from 2 and a half weeks of silence and (god forbid) army songs to some good music. I guess I've for now put my musical demons behind me.

Anyway, I gave Frank Zappa's 'Hot Rats' another listen. This is one of my all-time favourite albums. I consider it one of the pinnacles of instrumental rock and quite possibly the only time I've ever heard it done convincingly (I'm lookin' at YOU, steve vai.) It is a beautiful album. The opening track, 'Peaches en Regalia' is tightly composed but feels freewheeling and blooms with what I can only call exuberance. There is no hint of faux machismo here. This is rock music that isn't afraid of being happy - and it is very much so, but; like all great works of art, a sublime happiness. Which is why I prefer to say exuberance; a joy at the fact of listening, of life.

On a more technical note, Zappa's playing is free from cliches but strikingly simple, and his ability to improvise long and coherent solos is incredible - listen to the final track, 'The Gumbo Variations' for about 6 straight minutes of improvisation over a single chord, and it never once gets boring. Zappa's ability to be emphatic is one of his best qualities (and one which places him well above many many other guitarists). I appreciate the simplicity.

This is not to say the album is simple - it definitely contains elements of jazz fusion, with the tightly composed melodies and structures that implies. The instrumentation is varied and often bizarre (many many synths.) but it always feels like the structure is in service of a melody - and again, Zappa's gift with melody is seldom surpassed. Tracks like Peaches en Regalia and Son of Mr. Green Genes demonstrate this knack for simple but beautiful melodies.

On 'Little Umbrellas' Zappa displays a more experimental side - with a more jazz-like melody and much more complex chord changes, almost reminding one of Wayne Shorter's writing for the Miles Davis quintet and particularly for Weather Report with all the multi-layered melodies and compositions.

Kudos also go to Zappa's sidemen. Ian Underwood (saxophones) plays masterfully on 'The Gumbo Variations', contributing his own lengthy solo that delves into the shrieking, squeaking realm of free jazz but never deviates from the funky, earthy theme. Listen to the Art Ensemble of Chicago on 'Theme de yoyo' for an interesting comparison. Also, Zappa's violinist whose name I forget puts in a beautiful solo on the same track.

I saved the best for last - 'Willie the Pimp' is arguably the crowning achievement of the album. It is the only track on the disc with lyrics, and it represents Zappa's long fascination with the absurd and scatological, not to mention sexual. Zappa's associate Captain Beefheart supplies hoarse vocals, shouting 'HOT RATS!' over Zappa's slippery guitar playing. Then Zappa launches into a long, greasy solo - probably the most rock influenced in the whole album.

In total, 'Hot Rats' is an easily accessible but extremely well put together album that never fails to put a smile on my face. We miss you, Frank.

adam

First impressions - David Bowie, Earthling.

I don't see why the critics gave this album a hard time. The opening track, Little Wonder, is a brilliant vindication of electronica, replete with Bowie's spacey harmonies and even a little rock guitar. It fills me with happy feelings. Report on the rest of the album to follow.

adam

Purify my heart.

I've been unconsciously emo-ing myself into a hole these past few days, moping about in taxis and on buses, sulking around with my headphones in sunny KL, stuff like that. I dunno what it is. Maybe it's the quarter life identity crisis. I guess it is. I've been thinking about music. I've gotten quite jaded about jazz. I mean, face it. Jazz is in a rut. There haven't been any convincing acts (at least, none that I've seen) in the last 20 years at least. Fusion is a sad mess. Free jazz can't decide what it wants to do. The post-bop and Wynton's gang could never match coltrane's ideas and are stuck with pale imitations. I won't even get started on smooth jazz... I've just been to a wedding and that means Kenny G during the appetisers and Pachelbel set to a disgusting soft porn soundtrack during the main course. I guess it sucks that I might actually have to move on and do something else just as I was getting good at it. I'm tired of jazz.

adam

Just got myself a copy of Radiohead's OK Computer. Took me awhile to warm to it, but now I am busy partaking in the condensed awesomeness. I may be unresponsive on msn for a few hours.

adam

Wow. Not only am I not a musician or a writer... I'm barely even a person. Maybe I needed to realise that before I could get over being a teenager. It feels good, somehow. I don't want to have to be anything anymore.

adam

Hide and Seek

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to fall
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mm whatcha say?
Mm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mm whatcha say?
Mm that its all for the best?
of course it is
Mm whatcha say?
Mm that it's just what we need,
you decided this?
Mm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
sick-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song has been guilt tripping me for a whole week. Fuck you, Imogen Heap.

adam

Coltrane plays ballads

Not an album review this time - just some thoughts on balladry.

Coltrane's playing has long been revered for his speed and (more importantly, I think) ability to weld strings of hyper-fast notes into shockingly coherent, thematically layered melodies. This is beyond doubt and still amazes me every time I listen to 'Giant Steps' or his work with Miles.

I think another, less looked at (I shall not say overlooked because every aspect of his playing has been analysed and debated countless times) aspect of Coltrane's playing is his way with ballads. I find his approach to the slower songs one of the most compelling in the history of jazz music. Never letting his tone become mushy or sentimental, he still manages to be terrifically romantic by stating the melody emphatically. His directness is refreshing, and the strength (I use this word advisedly - the only way I can think to describe his approach is 'strong') of his tone reminds us that 'romanticism' contains both sentimentality and power, and cannot do without either - without power, it is wheedling and mushy (as Kenny G proves) and without sentimentality it is callous and rude (i'm looking at you, Mr. Weckl.)

I think Coltrane understood what it means to be romantic. I don't think anyone will be able to play a ballad convincingly without this kind of understanding.

adam

edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tjlz3DYmTw

Here's a video of the Coltrane quartet playing 'Everytime We Say Goodbye'.

Am experiencing an interminable, unconnected sadness.

I've finished my 8 week Lindy Hop course. It was immensely fun. I'll probably be signing up for the next one but not just yet - have to get BMT out of the way. That doesn't stop me from going social dancing every thursday though. I just hope I'm not boring the hell out of the poor people I dance with. Ah well - be a swing slut, is what they told me. Dance with everyone regardless of how noob you feel. I shall.

adam

about life

I tell a lie every time I'm at a family gathering - when concerned uncles and aunties ask me 'so what course are you going to do in uni' I invariably say that I don't know. Well, okay. It's half true. I'm not sure - but then, who is?

The way I see it a uni course should be something you choose based on what you think you might be able to do professionally - an interest. For whatever reasons. I have never felt that way about law, or medicine (my parents desperately want me to do one of those). Maybe it's because I haven't been exposed enough to the profession - no, scratch that. Three medical attachments so far. Unconvinced. As for law, things are still fuzzy which is why i'm open to it, but again it doesn't look promising. If for 6 years immersed in the swath of free information that is the internet I haven't yet developed any kindling of curiosity I doubt any will be forthcoming soon.

So that leaves me in a bind. I DO know what I would like to do in uni. I'm not sure, nor am I convinced that it'll be a lifetime commitment, but I AM curious. I wish I could study literature, or music. I am curious about computer programming, social sciences, and psychology. That stuff fascinates me. Medicine doesn't.

adam

I'll be enlisting in about 3 weeks. Not exactly apprehensive; I want to get it over and done with. I will miss freedom though. With enough luck it will return when I'm posted to MDC; otherwise it's hell for 2 years. Make it a point, if that happens, to practice the harmonica loudly in the office and drive my colleagues mad.

I find myself wondering about the people who've gone overseas or are now in camp or in uni or working at some odd little job somewhere. I feel so disconnected: I've never been able to talk to people for a long time about life. Teri mentioned that once - when it comes to 'talking cock' I sadly fail. And I miss some people badly who I never thought I'd miss.

At the same time I'm meeting more new people than I've ever met before (probably because I've been in school). I think it's wonderful to meet new people, but I'm also not very good at it. I always choke up at the right moments and make things really really awkward. Still, new friends are as good as old ones in some ways.

It feels strange, this sensation of moving on - both leaving people behind and finding new connections. I feel... transient? Like all of a sudden I'm unstable and if you blinked for too long I might vanish into thin air.

adam

Bizarro

This turn of events has amused me greatly. In a bizarre twist of fate, my face-shaving apparatus has mutated from a simple disposable two blade affair into an orange-and-grey amorphous monstrosity with not three, not four, but five blades when my mum bought me a new razor. The Onion mentioned this alarming phenomenon a few months ago, but I feel that the issue needs to be brought up by the grassroots blogging membership: is the value of the razor blade inflating?

Back when we were still beating out women over the head and dragging them to our caves a simple sharp rock seemed to suffice; a REAL cavemen wasn't scared of a little razor burn in a morning or a few cuts he could pass off as battle scars from the last pig hunt. Then midway into our current century, humanity having survived for almost a million years with a simple single razor wielded with skill and sheer macho, two men name Schick and Gilette had to go and derail the trend. I know this: I recently spent an afternoon watching a Discovery Channel documentary about shavers and the bitter turf war that resulted from the razor blade arms race, and while my social life lies in sad tatters around me I am also replete with the knowledge that said turf war is the reason that the average razor nowadays has two blades and compensates for the increasing number of metrosexual men by having a little lubricating strip.

MY razor though, is quite the museum piece: something Captain Kirk would be proud to find poking through the ruins of an Earth museum while making out with a hot alien chick and then subsequently bring back to his ship where it would cause an epidemic of shaving cuts and bleed half of the crew to death, seeing as how the federation would probably have outlawed shavers for some joo-joo laser shaving device that works on dodgy physics principles. (I'm looking at YOU, Mr. Replicator)

The point is : does five blades mean we are on the path to dome haircuts and pointy ears? Is civilisation as we know it at an end? Will Jesus save us?

Hell if I know. Every morning however, I pick up my razor and I wonder.

adam

I'm going to plan a big party before I leave for army. Probably day before I leave... no, scratch that, TWO days. That leaves one day to recover from the hangover. I feel like Clarissa Dalloway. Everyone will be invited - even people who aren't invited will probably be invited. There will be drinks.

adam

I've realised what's different now from the last 18 years of my life - I've never been this alone. Every day of my life was always begun to the promise of going to school and meeting classmates who for all that they annoyed me, were genuinely interesting people (for the most part). We had to spend all our time together, for better or for worse. Now there's no such assurance.

On the MRT today I was struck by how I've navigated my own course for now, and nobody's following me through it - no classmates, CCA mates, church friends. Just me. There are moments of fleeting contact - running into friends on the bus. After hours jam sessions. Going back to RJ to teach the juniors. But it's not the same - I'm aware that my life momentarily occupies the same space as someone else's, and will inevitably lead me back to other places.

Being me, I enjoy the solitude but I'm also a little lonely.

adam

I guess I should update.

It's been a wild week. It started on thursday with dance classes and social dancing at 9. That was fun, even if I can't exactly dance properly. Friday was SEA jam. I took a beginner's class taught by Frankie Manning himself, which was pretty enlightening. Other than that, my lack of experience kind of prevented me from dancing a hell lot so I got out after that. Shall go next year and murder my legs.

Saturday was Kelly's party. THAT was wild. We all got drunk (except hyqel.) and spent a few hours malingering in a park. People are -very- funny when high.

Sunday was teaching Cathechism class with the LoGgers O.o that was also wild in a different sort of way. P4 kids are no joke. Justin Sim, you are a brave brave man. Later on I went to southbridge in a sort of fatigued haze. I believe I played a total train wrecked 'Milestones' and then I called 'That's All' which went rather well. The mojito definitely contributed to my guitar histrionics.

Yesterday was the Ben n Jerry's audition. That sucked. I think we played pretty alright but evidently they were looking for more of a pop band so I think i'm giving up on that gig.

Today I am unbelievably exhausted and a little emotionally drained. Okay, very emotionally drained. I think I'll stay home.

adam

It really does look like I'm finally growing up. This is disturbing. This is unsettling. I can suddenly empathise with sufferers of teenage angst. I mean, make what fun you will of teenagers, but this is a fucking nasty time to be alive.

All you army boys complain that your brains are rotting in camp. Well guess what it isn't really that different here in Real Life. Since most of my schoolmates are either (you guessed it) in camp or at work for the girls, there really isn't anyone to talk to most of the time. I guess I do get moments here and then when people are free but that is pretty much the extent of it.

I think I'll have to get used to this. Face it, bringing together interesting people was just about the only thing school had going for it and now that it's out I'm floundering a little.

Blog games

Grabbed off cher's blog. Sorry cher.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool!

Opening Credits : Fall to Pieces by Velvet Revolver - oddly appropriate.

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Waking Up : I am the Walrus by the Beatles - What the hell.

I am the egg-man. They are the egg-men. I am the walrus.

First Day of School : Build God, Then We'll Talk by Panic! at the disco - hmm. no comment.

Falling in Love: Summer Rain by Hiromi - also no comment. I realise around this point that my library doesn't have a lot of vocals.

Fight Song: Another Kind of Green by John Mayer -

I didn't need another kind of green to know I'm on the right side with you.

Breaking Up: Satin Doll by Ella Fitzgerald - not quite.

She's nobody's fool so I'm playing it cool as can be.
I'll give it a whirl but I ain't for no girl catching me

Prom: When We Were Free by Pat Metheny Group - haha.

Life: You Got No Right by Velvet Revolver - one of the few on my playlist that I've never listened to before O.o is that trying to say something about the state of my life?

Mental Breakdown: Telegraph Road by Dire Straits - wonderful song, scores just about nothing for appropriateness. It's about a road.

There's six lanes of traffic
Three lanes moving slow

Flashback: Theme from frasier. Hey baby I hear the blues are calling...

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

Wedding: Danse Macabre. Holy Crap.

Birth of Child: Four by Miles Davis. NO. NONONONONONONONONO.

Death Scene: Battle Hymn by Manowar. No comment.

Funeral Song: Headless by Joe Satriani. -.-

Ending Credits: Big Machine by Velvet Revolver. WHY do i keep getting them? I don't even particularly like them or have a huge lot of their music.

adam

Blu Jazz

I went to the Blu Jazz restaurant/bar twice in the last two weeks to play with the band. Aya Sekine is an amazing musician. The night I played she had in two guests who she happened to know - Joshua Wan on bass and someone else on drums i can't quite recall. What amazed me was that they didn't gig regularly together, but on stage they were so together it was almost telepathic. This is really creepy territory. I'm not talking about simply playing on time or stuff like that. Interpretation-wise, that band is able to turn on a dime. They can jump from a flying crescendo to pin-drop silence in the space of a bar, and it's entirely improvised. They just communicate somehow. Anyway that put enough of the righteous fear in me that i gave up comping and just quietly took my solo. Aya said she liked it (woot) and asked me to come back (woot.).

Came back the week after and discovered that there was a guest band i.e. Aya wasn't there. So I asked the guest band (michael stenton) whether I could play - well actually i mentioned that I played guitar a bit and Michael invited me on stage. That was scary. Luckily I called familiar stuff - a blues shuffle and then someone called Black Orpheus. Not a terribly difficult tune, I could've handled the changes probably, but Michael told me he'd give me the outtro. 3 minutes of A minor. That is a freaking dream come true for someone who's spent the last two years playing So What (7.5 minutes of D minor and 2.5 minutes of Eb minor) and the rest of the modal jazz standards. So it was good. I'm fairly happy about that.

Then of course got dragged to Xun's place and got smashed. I'm not happy about that, but that's another story for another day. God, I sound like Ringo Starr.

adam

There was probably a point sometime around last year where i stopped being a writer and I started being a musician. And then I realised with not a little surprise that it was the same thing. The only thing which keeps me going at all this is that spark of wonder that wakes me up in the morning whispering 'Inexplicably, I am alive. I don't know why. But is it not beautiful?' It is beautiful, oh it is beautiful.

Inexplicably we are alive. Somehow we fumble our way through the recesses of this world, clueless as to where we came from. We cling to each other, quite afraid. The highest faculty we possess is empathy (Phillip K. Dick got this one right) - the ability to recognise that same wonder and fear in another person.

Inexplicably we are alive. Consciousness is a nested existential crisis. I have no reason to exist. If i did not exist, I would not be wondering why I exist. I respond with fear. I respond with wonder. The world has no explanation. It is wild and beautiful.

Inexplicably we are alive. Individuality is the only undisputable fact and the only insoluble mystery. Is a person more than the sum of his parts? I am proud of myself because I exist. I have no reason to exist. I have no reason to be proud except my individuality. I am separate from you, I am sovereign. You are sovereign; you are my brother.

Experience is sacred. Art is the worship of experience.

adam

Imagine

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say I'm
a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is totally the atheist anthem O.o

But it made me ask myself the question Am I an Atheist? Because religion has slowly been dropping out of my life. I mean, i still go to church on sundays but that's the extent of it.
But no, i'm not an atheist. I mean, atheism is sexy and all (very sexy. just ask dr. house) but I don't think we can be that sure.

adam

I've always hated Dave Weckl.

Around 5 minutes ago I thought to myself that I may be being just a little prejudiced and decided to consult the almighty youtube about giving him another chance. I regretted that almost instantly. His cover of Jaco's 'The Chicken' is one of the truly awful things in this world - yes, right up there with income tax and trombones.

Good lord. He has no ideas. He plays fairly conventional fills except with blindingly fast technique - alright, I'll grant that he's a master technician - but nothing new. He's not bad but just strikingly unmusical for all the hype he gets. The kicker came at the end of the tune when they were waiting on the last note of the signature riff that ends the song - he takes 10 seconds to do a long drum solo almost as if saying 'wait a minute - stop! the song can't end yet, I haven't finished jacking off!' It adds nothing to the song except to make a cheesy ending worse. It's Jaco. It demands ideas, attitude. Yes the 'busy' sound does work but not when everyone at once is trying to sound like a one-man band. When you add those up you don't get a three-man band, you get three one-man bands which sounds less like music than like group sex.

This is what is wrong with fusion. Just to check if my ears were working right - I went back and listened to weather report again - predictable high. I'm alright. Dave Weckl DOES suck - all is right with the world. But not yet - I haven't finished bitching. What is even worse is the parade of music snobs that fusion spawned in the 70s and haven't quite finished dying out yet - the worst bunch since the Nazis decided they liked Wagner. People who turn up their noses to rock and pop music and worship their gods of stick technique, claiming that any detractors have 'no ear for music' and cannot appreciate the intellectual intricacies of their heroes. Yes my friends, the only way Dave Weckl and his ilk can obscure the fact that they have no ideas is to hide behind their enormous drumsets (seriously. Think NASA.) and their shredding and jerking off behind so-called funk beats. Complexity does not belie content.

In the end, music (leaving out John Cage for now) is about experience and emotion. It made the great musicians like Miles Davis (who, incidentally, was a big fan of pop music). Heck, jazz was originally a popular music and most of our standards today are reworked pop tunes from the 20s and 30s. I think fusion as played by Mike Stern and Dave Weckl needs to die out quickly, and those people need to grow up and put their serious chops to better use.

EDIT: As a note of comparison, check out Jaco's own recording of The Chicken here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwhkPSEXs1Q
That is a real drummer, and THAT is a real drum solo. He has so much wit - I actually laughed out loud during the first bars of his solo.

adam

John Mayer, when he's not having one of his Moments, is a god-awful songwriter. One wishes he'd put up a more consistent performance on Continuum. For what it's worth, the album sounds good, he's a very good guitarist, and the occasionally poignant song such as 'Stop this Train' or 'Vultures' makes it worth the while. The much hyped radio hit 'Waiting on the world to change' is bullshit. Sure he hit on a couple of nice hooky little riffs but the songwriting is so appalling I don't think i'll ever reconcile myself with the song.

Make no mistake, however; I genuinely enjoyed this album. John Mayer has some way to go, but I really hope he makes it.

adam

New Years

I don't want to do this, really I don't... but i guess come end of the year you really have to sit down with yourself and take stock.

Who am I kidding. It's 3.50 am, I'm remarkably sober and i'm bored.

2007 was awesome in many ways. (Rayner I don't know how you did this in chapters)

Jazz club has been one of the most fulfilling things i've ever done. I guess there's little of the warm fuzzy feeling in retrospect; we weren't that sort of people, and we weren't out to do great romantic things. We learned, we gigged, and we dealt in our own way with the harsh reality that musicians are the most bumfucked people on the planet. I guess that's what counts - I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

For the most part, I developed a little bit of 'musical maturity' this year i.e. sharpened my prejudices and finally figured out what i like. Learning jazz has taught me how to learn - I had to pick that up again after so many years of being spoon fed. I'm glad for it, even if I do grow up to be completely worthless. Jazz itself is a wonderful metaphor for life - you take each moment as it is; letting go of the past and heedless of the future. We need more of that. I need more of that.

This year has also been about people. I love people (even if I never ever let this fact on). Doing stuff has brought me near to so many interesting characters I couldn't possibly list them all down.

Sophie : I don't know what to say. You bewilder me. Whatever happens, it's been wonderful. You've forced me to grow up, in some ways. In other ways I'll probably be around 5 years old for the rest of my life, and you'll have to live with those. I've never met someone so... heedless and immediate. I need that. I also wonder what on earth you see in me.

Rayner : I guess I keep you around so i seem intelligent by comparison. I also don't think i really need to type much here. I respect you much more than I let on. Keep smiling, cos life's a laugh and death's a joke.

The Manly Men : T, Xun, D, Wang. It's time for Wangernum! No lol. Despite the fact that you only act macho because you're secretly insecure about the size of your genitals, i love you guys. Thanks for keeping me from sinking into the depths of antisocialness. T:I know you hate to hear me whine and bitch. Thanks for doing it anyway. Xun: Your advice is useless, but i take it anyway because i know that what you really want me to do is do something instead of sitting around and worrying like I usually do. D: Thanks for being around when I needed normal (read:geek) activity. Doing inane stuff is important when you're religiously avoiding deeper issues. Wang: Despite what i say sometimes, you are actually a funny guy, and even funnier when i'm slightly drunk.

Jazz cats : I can't believe I just typed that. So fucking gay. Hyqel, Xiumin, Clara, Kelly, Vivek, Boyle, Huang. Mark and Debbo too, and the juniors. No mushy feelings here. We had loads of fun , partly because we are all so unbelievably inept, but also because we were willing to try something new, even if it meant we inevitably got sexually harrassed by drunk people because we could only pull seedy gigs. I can respect that. Don't ever stop.

07S03N: I got lucky when I was dropped into this class. I have not been able to say that for 6 years. These people are so amazing and vibrant and full of laughter and life, it'll almost be a pity when half of them grow up to be mediocre middle-class white collar workers. I guess you can't have it forever. I'm glad I knew you when you did.

Church: I'm sorry for drifting. So much has happened and I've realised so much about myself that a huge chunk of my faith suddenly no longer applies. I never had anything against any of you, so keep up what you do and never give up.

That's all i can think of for now. More later maybe. Or never.

adam

My last word for 2007: A quote from monty python.

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Hmm. I actually do like John Cage's work. A lot.

It begins when you stop viewing music as an object defined by notes and spaces but as what he calls a 'process' ... dunno, very difficult to explain but I intuitively got it when I heard one of his pieces. Can't remember what it was called, something with random electronic noise mixed with an opera singer.

adam

Merry Christmas

So comes it a few days late. Merry Christmas, everyone. And especially to those i might never see again.

adam

art ensemble of chicago

Just heard their stuff for the first time at the Esplanade Library when i picked up a copy of Fanfare for the Warriors. I am very intrigued by this band. Their approach to the avant-garde is very different from Coleman's and Coltrane's.

Take example: Their cover of Thelonious Monk's 'Round Midnight' - 5 minutes of blips and squeaks and bells interspersed with long periods of silence. I believe it's Lester Bowie who occasionally interjects with some wonderful trumpet lines. The music is peaceful and somehow troubling. What surprised me is how easily i reacted to it : this is not noise. This is unequivocably music. When finally they segue into the theme of 'Round Midnight' it is with infinite grace - it sounds like a simple continuation of the previous few minutes. They treat the theme with the expected looseness and collectivity, but it is rousing.

Worth checking out.

adam

Drinks mixing

My awesome uncle Chris taught me a little about drinks mixing. I've been experimenting. Today:

1. Gin (just gin).
Preparation : Poured some vermouth into a glass with ice and stirred, then strained out the vermouth to coat the glass. Put a shot of gin in, stirred and strained into a cocktail glass.

Tastes a little better than just neat gin. Maybe a little more vermouth next time.

2. Gimlet
Preparation: made some sugar syrup : 2 parts brown sugar, 1 part water, heat until dissolves.
1 part sugar syrup, 1 part lime juice, 4 parts gin.

Tastes pretty awesome!

adam

hmm. i'm a little tipsy now. Not very high alcohol tolerance. But I noticed that my typing is always the last to go. Makes for interesting statements like 'Oh my word i'm a little drunk now. Maybe I shouldn't have had that last drink...'

Need to talk

Exhaustion, exhilaration, burned nerves, the smell of smoke, morning, evening, a dusky scent at the top of your sinuses, hangovers, dry headache, wet bar, cold nights, warm mornings, jacket, pullover, sun, damp, cobblestones.

Motion sickness. Trains at night. Sleeping at 250 km/h. Blankets and jackets. Moist sunlight. Hotel. Toilet. Headache. Backache. Heartache. Tired. Lively. Frosty lungs. Feet on heater. Window.
Taken enough and too little. Excited and burned out. Drunk and hung over. Enough is enough. I want more. Give me your hand. Put it in your pocket. Combien ca coute. C'est bon. Lying on the floor. Hopeful.

One more year. One more month. Too little time. Too much history. Two days in Spain. Eternity. Feather of a sparrow. Train track. Timetable.

Waiting.

EDIT: I just found out about this. Joe Zawinul passed away on the 11th of September, 2007. RIP. I guess this review comes at an interesting time.

Weather Report -
Night Passage

A bit like sex, but without all the bad bits. Yep.

The entire album is almost uniformly strong, with highlights like Jaco's solo on 'Port of Entry' (and also the last bit where everyone comes in at about 300 bpm - cheering totally justified. I danced.)
Acrobatic, danceable, yet resolutely intelligent all the same. I might go as far as to say this may even top Heavy Weather.

Highlights.

1. 3 views of a secret - interesting when compared to Jaco's big band rendition - much more intimate, Wayne Shorter does wonderful things with the melody that just don't sound the same on the harmonica in the big band version. Zawinul has a trademark cascading solo near the end - reminiscent of 'A remark you made' and brilliant considering the difficulty of Jaco's chords.

2. Port of Entry - wonderfully off-kilter, immensely funky but all the band members put in that little bit of confusion to mix things up. Crazy solo by Jaco. All of their music has an emotional logic which triumphed over a lot of the rampant fusion-y nonsense that was prevalent at the time. No chords for the sake of chords.

3. Shorter solo on 'Fast City'. It's like the Miles Davis quintet all over again. Shorter displays that he's lost none of his mojo in playing fusion. Weather Report proves also that they can swing if they want to, critics be damned.

4. Rockin' in Rhythm - a Duke Ellington cover completely electrified. Utterly shocking, but also incredibly fun O.O. Zawinul's synth clarinet a la Benny Goodman is hilarious.

-Adam

Ok I was wrong about Radiohead. In Rainbows kind of grew on me... parts of it. What originally annoyed me was their apparent lack of any sort of harmonic direction. Unsatisfying chord progressions and all. Later I kind of realised that their genius is their mastery of texture rather than harmony. The harmony is still annoying - but the songs as a whole are impactful, atmospheric without becoming too ambient.

adam

EDIT: It's available for download on their website I believe, and you can pay as much as you want! Go check it out today. Every cent you pay goes to Radiohead, not some evil record company.

Radiohead. What do I say about Radiohead? I can't tell if i like them or not - they have a couple of good songs, to be sure. Mostly, the issue is that the rest of my life will follow the following cycle:
1. Buys/downloads a Radiohead album
2. Doesn't get it. Puts it away for a month.
3. Revisits it.
4. Doesn't get it.

You know, I get Ornette Coleman. I get late John Coltrane. I even get Albert Ayler on my good days. But Radiohead? No fucking way.

adam

It's over. Exuberance knows no words.

Have some new radicals :

You Only Get What You Give

Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age fourteen, they got you down on your knees
So polite, we're busy still saying please
Frienemies
Who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their mercedes benz
First we run, and then we laugh 'till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget we only get what we give
[I'm comin' home baby]
[You're tops, give it to me now]

Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
We're flat broke
But hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find a friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way I'm right behind
Now say you're mine

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
Don't let go
I feel the music in you
Fly high
What's real can't die
We only get what we give
You're gonna get what you give
Just dont be afraid to live

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney love and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Eh, 11.04 pm. The day before the day before Lit paper. I am starting to fray a little.

I'm really not stressed by the A levels - I just find it tedious.
I wish life would pick itself up; dust off; get off my back; something like that or other -
I've been trying to distract myself
This is one of the ways
I need a drink. I need a hug.
Spent most of today alternately memorising Shakespeare and searching for silly Flash games
then blogging vertically

I feel like everything is coming to a soupy, sticky, crusty end, and it'll build up on the edges of my sanity like the crust of evaporated soup and slowly reduce the liveable portion of my psyche to a little 10 cent coin sized spot where i guess i'll lie down and sleep for awhile.

Sigh.

adam

Pat Metheny Group - The Way Up

Bought this album a couple of days ago together with Brubeck plays Brubeck. A totally different experience. If hard-pressed to metaphorise, as I often am, I would describe this album as a souffle - certainly not brain food, but within its limitations it's masterfully done. I think the greatest achievement of The Way Up is how it manages to be sincerely romantic without overdoing it or become sleazy or cheesy.

The best bits, in my opinion - The section at the end of part one where the band really gets into a swing thing. The beginning of part one in all it's odd rock-ballad goodness. The re-statement of the theme in part 3 - delicate and then climactic, but always with admirable restraint given the subject material, which a lesser musician may have devolved into sloppy romantic dribble. I also personally like Lyle Mays' piano solo in part 2, although in other bits he does tend to drift into rather noodly new-age stuff.

Conclusion : It's brilliant stuff, very accessible but not inane. Only Pat Metheny could have done this.

EDIT: I neglected to mention that the album mentioned below comes not with one, but two (!) liner essays, both written by Brubeck. The first has apparently passed into use in art and theatre schools as an introduction to improvisation, and the second is Brubeck gloating over this fact in a very smug tone.

Dave Brubeck - Brubeck Plays Brubeck

This solo piano album by Dave Brubeck is certainly interesting - not a perfect album by any means, but there's enough insight into the genius that is Brubeck to make it worthwhile.

Brubeck has often been needled by critics for trying - and failing - to be classical about jazz. I feel that these critics kind of miss the point - firstly, in Brubeck's own words in the liner notes of this album, there's nothing wrong with that: jazz was originally a hybrid music anyway. Secondly, I think they miss the partly tongue-in-cheek humour that characterises Brubeck's playing : he has no grandiose ideas about unifying the dual traditions of classical music and jazz; rather his oddly classical quotes and phrases have a sort of manic quality, a kind of fuck you to both his classically-trained past and the army of bud powell imitators surrounding him. Brubeck knew that jazz wasn't in the idiom but in the improvisation, and legitimately conjectured that he could play whatever the hell he wanted as long as he could swing. And he could swing the legs off a table.

That said, the album does have its weak moments. Brubeck's compositions are, I feel, rather overshadowed by his improvisational prowess. Some of the numbers feel a bit weak melody-wise. 'Walkin' Line' especially seems unsatisfying in the melody department, and other tracks do have their awkward bits where you can feel Brubeck's characteristic humour cracking a little. Despite this, however, the tunes 'In Your Own Sweet Way' and 'The Duke' have become jazz standards, the former covered by Miles Davis only a few months before.

These are just first impressions however. How the album ages, i guess we'll only know later.

adam

I've been listening to Coltrane's A Love Supreme recently. It's an album that took awhile to sink in but wow, did it sink in. I think the man may possibly be the only person who could single-handedly restore my faith in spirituality.

Compared to his later work, A Love Supreme seems tame but to dismiss it as emotionally lightweight is to miss the more subtle intensity that Coltrane displays : throughout the four-part suite the depth of his playing is breathtaking in its sustained power. Many critics have said that there is not a wasted note in the suite. Coltrane meant every note he played ; the fact that this album proved less of a skronk-fest than later attempts doesn't detract from his emotional sincerity - it just proves a different vehicle.

While Coltrane's later work tended to alienate his audience (and some of his band members) the members of his quartet seem to understand his approach perfectly on A Love Supreme. In particular, Elvin Jones' drumming on Resolution is almost inhumanly intense - straddling the sheets of percussive noise characteristic of the later free jazz drummers like Rashied Ali and the refined swing of bebop drummers, with hints of the elastic quality of the Bill Evans piano trio. Elvin Jones later left the quartet, at odds with Coltrane's musical direction - it is easy here to notice the tension between the earlier swing-based beat and the later pulse-based drumming. The album is quite possibly the pinnacle of Jones' and Coltrane's collaboration - as far as Jones was willing to go in terms of the avant-garde, and Coltrane's departure point.

I originally felt that the fourth part of the suite, Psalm, was a bit ponderous, the timpani a rather ostentatious addition - again, missing the point totally. Its slowness lends it weight that is sometimes lost on a casual listening. Psalm is almost painful to listen to, as if every phrase were purging you of some long-forgotten sin. I think that's what Coltrane's intent was. The suite is a magnificent monument to faith.

adam

Breakfast at Tiffany's

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

So much angst. We're all mired in it; the exams are tearing us apart, from each other then from ourselves. I've noticed we all cling to each other more closely now, like we're holding on to our constituent atoms for each other. Holding together the places that we can't reach ourselves.

Got this from zhuoyi's blog: 50 things which make you happy. It's 12.32 am, i'm feeling fucked up, and pretty bored, so i guess i'll do it. In no particular order:

1. having friends to talk to. Especially now.
2. music.
3. TV. especially now... i guess we all need our brainless entertainment.
4. long walks
5. silence. I usually go without my headphones nowadays. There's plenty of time to listen to music at home. I feel like i'm missing out on too much if i encapsulate myself when i go out.
6. playing the guitar. Even when I don't know what to play, i guess it helps.
7. good food.
8. alcohol. G & Ts for the win. Getting drunk is pretty unpleasant though.
9. gaming. when i allow myself. I'm currently playing starcraft, trying to finish the campaign without cheating. 3 missions to go!
10. chatting with classmates when we get the time
11. making fun of rayner
12. making fun of rayner
13. chocolate
14. ice cream
15. poker with the boys. getting the stuffing kicked out of me.
16. my cat desdemona
17. the sound of birds in the morning
18. being inside when it rains outside
19. writing
20. books - mostly lit texts, but still awesome
21. the complete yes minister on dvd
22. a special person - feelings are boring; kissing is awesome.
23. new clothes
24. jam sessions with hyqel and xiumin and the juniors
25. teaching the juniors
26. the sound of a double bass
27. the new-album smell.
28. liner essays.
29. the sense of accomplishment you get after you finish restringing the bugger.
30. random doodlings of ominous coffee mugs and sinister saline drips.
31. writing my name in huge letters on worksheets in highlighter so it covers the entire first page
32. discussing music with people
33. writer's blog; even if we do fail occasionally.
34. blog-surfing. if i don't have a life, i invoke my right to live vicariously through others. pity all the people whose blogs i visit have no life either.
35. just sitting and thinking
36. a good joke. if possible at the expense of somebody uptight.
37. coco pops. breakfast of champions.
38. milk and bandung.
39. sashimi.
40. wondering about the future
41. wishing i could fly
42. cycling round the neighbourhood. racing down the hill at ~ mach 7. stunning pedestrians. they're called that for a reason, you know.
43. watching people dance lindy hop.
44. playing with thompson jazz band.
45. doing gigs with mark and debbo
46. indulging in nostalgia
47. a cheerful atmosphere
48. smiles
49. companionship
50. not being alone anymore.

sigh. i need some of that shit.

adam

List of dead heroes:

John Coltrane (1967)
Jimi Hendrix (1970)
Jaco Pastorius (1987)
Stevie Ray Vaughan (1990)
Miles Davis (1991)
Kurt Cobain (1994)
James Brown (2006)
Michael Brecker (2007)

H3 lit is OVER! woot.

Okay, in retrospect it was quite fun. Although I realise I didn't actually know much about the subject, but no matter. Kudos also to Abby, Hyqel, Ryan and Zhiying for finishing their h3s alive and sane (mostly). That's one more subject out of the way.
We had a h3 lit party at the minicanteen on friday after submission date. Abby dared me to give a mars bar to a complete stranger (female, of course) and tell them 'congratulations.' It proved fun enough that Ryan tried it twice, and we managed to get Abby to give the last tiramisu to some poor looking dude too. Heh.

adam

I've given up so much for my studies.
I miss jazz practice. I miss thompson jazz band. I miss going out with friends or hanging around southbridge at midnight and playing 'softly as in a morning sunrise' on a pint of beer. I miss waking up at 8 in the morning and knowing that i'll be practicing until 11 at night. I miss gaming until my eyes are red. I miss having time to read things that aren't my lit texts. I miss crazy after hours dinners debating the merits of Nirvana and Ornette Coleman. I miss concerts.

When i'm done with this shit, i'm out of here and if I have one more look at the bloody A levels I will gut it and strangle it with its fucking intestines, mark my words you fucking MOE assholes I hope you all asphyxiate on your big fucking inflated egos and go to the special hell reserved for the extremely stupid.

I really love Sinatra. His music has a depth and breadth of experience that I find rare in many people. When you listen to him you get the feeling that he's lived life, that he's somehow encompassed the wonders of the world in his mind and you can't not take it seriously. It hits you in your gut.

It makes me wonder about what it'll be like living elsewhere. I don't exactly like Singapore but i'm sure anywhere else just looks rosy from this perspective. It won't be peachy anywhere, I know. But I still have a yearning to go out and live somewhere else where the air's different and the people speak another language (or at least speak English differently) I need to see the world. I've seen too much of it on TV, in songs or books but I need to see it for myself. I think it's inexcuseable to be cloistered in this age. The internet generation has seen too much on the web to have an excuse not to feel some kind of irrepressible wonder. I think of myself as a child of the internet, I think probably one of many. But rather than keep us locked in our rooms surfing all day I think it's given us so much to think about that we can't be walled into this tiny country anymore. I need to get away...

adam

It's been a crazy few weeks. A lot's happened.

Mugging's finally approaching a state which can very approximately said to be on schedule. That's a plus, always. And there've been... other issues close to my heart.

All I want to say is that i'm very thankful and that I regret nothing.

adam

Free jazz - one third dissonance for its own sake, one third free modulation between keys, and one third actualy twelve-tone melody. This as far as I can tell.

adam

edit: and of course, one-hundred per cent blues.

This is the state of my life.

I have just realised that while listening to RHCP songs i can actually pick out the GERUNDS in Anthony Kiedis' rapping. For example,
'East side love is living on the west end', from 'Can't Stop' - the word 'living' is a gerund.
I was actually listening to the track when that line went by and I remember actually stopping to think 'hey, that's a gerund!'. I think i'm doomed forever to be frustrated by the grammatic inferiority of my peers.

For those of you who don't know what a gerund is:
It is proof of your sanity. Cling to it. Cling to it.

adam

Learning point #1. Love isn't about feelings: it's about decisions because choices are what make us human.

Learning point #2. Ornette Coleman contains so much concentrated awesomeness that he should be classified as a hazardous substance. Seriously, fuck your pansy smooth jazz rubbish - you have no idea what you're missing out on.

adam

My classmates are all depressed now for some reason. I think it's the season it's like seasonal affective disorder only it isn't winter or fall - it's EXAM SEASON fuck you. I thought it was just my personal issues with the nature of existence but well it seems i'm wrong everyone's angsting their asses off. We could sing some sickeningly catchy feel-good-get-together tune and sit in a circle and hug and cry I guess WE'RE ALLLLL IN THIS TOGETHER or something like that or maybe we could just lock ourselves up in our sad dark little rooms and start mugging.

adam

It's existential angst week. I had another anxiety attack last night... one of the worst in years.

Fuck that. I refuse to give in to despair.
Was brought back from the brink this morning by John Coltrane's Resolution. THAT is worship music. And i have some wonderful friends who I really don't deserve.

I'm still a bit panicky now but I'm holding on. It'll pass.

Stevie Ray Vaughan can make the truth come out of a guitar, I swear. Eat my dust, Steve Vai!

adam

From Abby's blog:

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician   Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Social Nerd
Literature Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

I figured i'd score higher on lit actually but apparently i don't read enough books.
Damnit. WTF is a 'social nerd'? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

adam

Okay, Mr. A Levels. I'll play your fucking game. You WILL regret this.

adam

Rest in peace, Thaddeus. I never knew you, but...
argh. Condolonces to any friends who may visit here.

AFTER THE A LEVELS

Here's my to do list - if it gets any bigger i think it'll undergo gravitational collapse and become a black hole.

1. Start a band.
2. Start a band.
3. Get gigs and get paid.

Now that's out of the way... In no particular order.

4. Learn to dance lindy hop.
5. Go overseas and away from the urban cesspit that is Singapore.
6. Finish reading Ulysses for the ultimate win.
7. Portrait of the artist as a young man for additional win.
8. Party. Get high. Get drunk.
9. Train for army. Want to be fit-ish i guess. Actually just an excuse to cycle. I love cycling.
10. Catch up with old friends who may be leaving, say tearful final goodbyes. Punch a few people i've vowed to punch once in my life. Ee Chong, you're on the list.
11. Learn to drive.
12. Learn to fly (O.o)
13. Fly.
14. Visit the north-sea jazz festival with uncle fabian.
15. Go on a round trip of every jazz bar in singapore. Start with harry's at esplanade. Must catch Paul Ponnudorai again and profess my undying love.
16. Practice until my fingers bleed.
17. Save up for the sexy fretless nylon string guitar at ranking. Pray nobody else buys it.
18. Play a real game of DnD. Hopefully find an experienced DM.
19. dittto shadowrun
20. ditto V:TR
21. buy an xbox 360 somehow and/or new comp. Game until my eyes bleed.
22. Learn to play the double-bass.
23. Learn to play clarinet.
24. Learn to play saxophone.
25. Learn to play trumpet.
26. Learn to play hammond organ.
27. Learn to play bridge.
28. Play more poker with xun and terence. Win their money while they're drunk.
29. Learn to play the mandolin and/or ukelele.
30. Buy CDs. Eric Dolphy, Bill Evans, Miles Davis, Tribal Tech, Dave Brubeck. For starters.
31. Get a real job.
32. Did you seriously believe #31? The hell no.
33. Retake SAT1s. Do SAT2s. probably lit and math, maybe bio.
34. Practice for my piano ATCL. Refrain from sucking.
35. Redecorate my room. With a bulldozer - but failing that, paint is good. And furniture.
36. Learn jazz piano from xiumin. McCoy Tyner <3.
37. Write more poetry/short stories.
38. Go out with important people.
39. ...like politicians. yes.
40. Train with the netrek team.

Yes.

adam

New template. Hmm... i'm not sure yet if i like it. Tagboard's at the bottom - not that anyone tags here, ever, heh.

Exams are the day after tomorrow and i'm screeeeeeeeewwweed. Damnation...

adam

Totally appropriate.

Don't Get Around Much Anymore

Missed the Saturday dance
Heard they crowded the floor
Couldn't bear it without you
Don't get around much anymore

Thought I'd visit the club
Got as far as the door
They'd have asked me about you
Don't get around much anymore

Oh, Darling I guess my mind's more at ease
But nevertheless, why stir up memories

Been invited on dates
Might have gone but what for
Awfully different without you
Don't get around much anymore

-adam

Been swinging through euphoria and depression for the last few weeks.
I'd forgotten how much i need music to remind me that things are still worth waking up for.

adam

New favourite webcomic. This is genius:

Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
http://www.bohemiandrive.com/comics/npwil.html

adam

Just when i thought i'd had the universe well and truly figured out, once and for all...

Wow, I got a lot of presents. Thanks so much to all my classmates who got me stuff: abby, trees, sophie, zhiying, eli sharon and nat, and to the mind-bogglingly awesome jazz club people. I feel the <3.

'Get high?'
'I hadda give it up.'

- William Gibson, Neuromancer

The more I listen to Coltrane, the more I think of Shakespeare - they both manage such an incredible density of meaning that just the mere reading or listening leaves you breathless and slightly dizzy.

And the more I tell myself I must study the more I want to lock myself up and spend the rest of my life learning to play like that.

adam

... and the world conspires to keep music with me. Just when I had every intention of starting my studies.

Jazz is a capricious mistress. Her and that piece of worm-ridden modal filth that Miles Davis came up with. They're conspiring to frustrate me, I swear it.

adam

We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all its just another brick in the wall.
All in all youre just another brick in the wall.

-Pink Floyd

So i went to the room today cos Yvonne told me they're having practice. And i sat there and I almost reached for my phone to call everyone and get them to hurry up and practice.

It hit me then. I miss my job. Goddamn i hated a lot of it but now it's gone (and i don't like to admit this) I miss it a lot. It's like a phantom limb now I don't have it anymore sometimes I reflexively go through the motions, like standing around worrying my ass off that some particular band CMI oh no oh no what am I going to do the gig is on saturday!

It's not my business anymore. I mean, the standard of the jazz club will always be my business. But now i'm only going to be teaching. It's up to Royce to organise the where and the when and the what. I suspect i'm not such a good teacher as I think but i'll learn, also.

Shit.

adam

So it's over. I guess for most people it could be hard to fathom how important the club is without actually having been in it and kind of smelled the air during a jam session. Or without mark's constant nagging that really impressed his vision onto me, and it's also a difficult one to see without having been there.

So many regrets but if there's one thing jazz has taught me it's that the only difficult decision is the one you're making now because it's the only one you control. Your past could be a fiction and your future could be a daydream but what happens now is yours and it's real and it's in some ways the only thing you can count on. So hey, i'll move on from my mistakes; it's been fun.

I'd like to say a big thank you to my wonderful EXCO who did all the work while I was daydreaming:

Huang for being the oft-needed voice of reason and supporting my crazed post-bop tendencies. Also for being the only other guy in the EXCO.
Xiumin for covering up for my utter administrative incompetence and for being an absolutely swinging pianist.
Clara for being the hardest-working secretary EVER and making sure everything ran smoothly (albeit is smoothly as jazz will ever get)
Chermaine for being a ball of sunshine despite pretending to be angsty (rubbish!). Especially when I needed the smiles.
Sara for being there for me to talk to when things got difficult, and for putting up with my nonsense.

It may be over, but it sure as hell isn't OVER. Alumni here I come!

adam

Bought 2 albums today. John Coltrane's A Love Supreme and Herbie Hancock's Head Hunters.
A Love Supreme is concentrated post-bop awesomeness. Massive awesomeness.
Head Hunters is funk before it got stupid. Fantastic stuff.

It's tomorrow grrrrrrrhhhh. Then it'll be finally over and I guess i'll have to get to studying which I really don't want to do but oh well A levels loom there isn't much choice I guess. I want it to last forever but I'm only getting one more night. I'll make the most of it.

Life is not measured in durations but in moments.

adam

It'll be over in 3 days. Nothing in the world has made me feel so out of my depth like the chairmanship. Sometimes I'm so afraid of letting people down that I can't do anything but lie down somewhere and cry. At the end of it I hope I've done an OK job - it's been fun but I'll be glad when it's over.

adam

EAT MY DUST PW

honk

A spectacular vindication of the principle that there are 'no wrong notes- only wrong resolutions' is Dave Liebman's wild rendition of the sound of music classic 'My Favourite Things'. About halfway through his solo the guitar-and-bass rhythm section cuts him loose to explore freer territory with lots of emotive honking - and somewhere in there Liebman cuts loose on a huge abrasive flurry of notes that stretch the tenor sax range from the squeaking highs to the gasping lows and ends with a huge 'plonk' on the 3rd of the tonic chord.

At this point, all is truly right with the world.

adam

Southbridge

Went to jam at jazz@southbridge tonight with shawn. Played two long pieces, Softly as in a Morning Sunrise and what is quickly becoming my signature tune, Soul Cowboy.

Overall I think it was a pretty good jam, in that there weren't any harmonic clams or sudden dry spots and everything sort of flowed, but I think it was also lacking a bit in coherence. I tend to noodle or play a lot of outside licks when I run out of ideas. Comping was predictably bad - too soft, out of time and repetitive - will have to work on that. Mario Serio said I had 'nice lines' (although i'm sure he was just being nice - i need a reason to feel good) and I got a free drink from some guy who turned out to be an SSO player (!). Ken, I think.

Anyway, I've decided on an after A levels project. I'll need to get a band together to see if we can tackle the late-50s music of Miles Davis (pre-electric period, second great quintet) or any post-bop kind of styles. I've pretty much figured that's where I want to go musically from now. Of course it's still a bit far off, but a guy can dream! Mark will be in UK by then, so i'm taking offers for a bassist slot.

adam

EDIT: Martinis taste fucking awesome. Should have ordered one for myself. In fact, will do just that when I turn 18.

EDIT: I'm also looking for a trumpeter. But don't bother unless you are excellent.

EDIT: I will call my band Sex Machine. In honour of the late James Brown, and also inspired by the fantastic US band Sex Mob. The word Jazz originally had a lot of sexual connotations, if you all didn't know.

I think the state of my room reflects the state of my mind.


Currently it is very, very messy.

THOMPSON BIG BAND BASH

Hello to the diminutive readership of this blog! I'm performing at the BOTANIC GARDENS on the 25th of march with thompson jazz band. It's at 5 pm so come and watch! And don't miss the Thoroughly Embarrassing Guitar Solo either.

Ulysses is killing me. Day 3, i'm at page 21 - which is a good 7 pages a day. To tell the truth I don't quite understand Joyce's writing at all. He has a certain sense of humour which is pretty absurd, but no LOL moments, so far.

Also, he uses 'scrotumtightening' as an adjective. Whee intellectually degenerate happiness!

adam

a heap of broken images

Just went to Kinokuniya today to pick up a copy of Ulysses! I feel excited at the prospect of slogging through the 600-odd page nightmare. Interestingly, I was talking to Cheng at the Lit (J) section - we couldn't find a second copy of Ulysses which cost less than 30 bucks - and we wanted to change the terms of our massive Ulysses-reading suicide pact to something like a Portrait of the artist as a young man-reading suicide pact and then Cheng said
- No, but Ulysses is the challenge
and some random woman said, NO, Finnegans Wake is the challenge

which came out of the blue but was roughly consistent with what I'd been told. Hmm.

School is a miserable slog. Everyone comes, everyone goes, nothing happens, it's awful. But I know i'll have to start studying at some point which is a TERRIBLE prospect but inevitable I guess.

I just read Abby's blog and it got me Thinking. I complain a lot about school but if it ever came to the crunch I doubt i'd give it up. I mean, I could probably do without studying. Or homework. Or insidious references to invisible poultry. But School... maybe not. I think it's become too much a part of me that when I'm finally cut loose I think i'll take a few months if not a whole year just adjusting to the shock of not having to wake up in the morning and grope about for my uniform or having to wander about the house half-naked in the unholy hours of the morning griping about yesterday's frisbee game in which I sprained my knee. That's a scary thought.
It's scary that despite my unspoken promise to myself that I would never let school become my life, I've gotten emotionally involved in it (and it's a terrible thing to be emotionally involved with the enemy). There are some baggages i'll be leaving in the corridors of RJ, and Raffles Institution.

I didn't ask for it. I've tried for years to make school inconsequential because I can't deal with responsibility, so that I could do it with my eyes closed. There's still things which, against my better judgement, I like about school. And i hate that.

adam

A new blues that I can't explain

Woke up this morning, I feel 'round for my shoes
You know 'bout that babe, had them old walkin' blues.
Woke up this morning, I feel 'round for my shoes,
You know 'bout that babe, Lord, I had them old walkin' blues.

Leavin' this morning, I had to go ride the blinds.
I've been mistreated, don't mind dying.
This morning, I had to go ride the blinds,
I've been mistreated, Lord, I don't mind dying.

People tell me walkin' blues ain't bad;
Worst old feeling I most ever had.
People tell me the old walkin' blues ain't bad.
Well it's the worst old feeling, Lord, I most ever had.

--

My favourite blues ever.

I've come to the startling realisation that jazz is the blues and the blues is jazz and there isn't any difference. Ornette coleman plays the same blues that Robert Johnson did. Of course it's an infuriating matter to tell anyone what you mean by 'the blues' - at some fundamental level it exists only as an abstract idea or just a sheer feeling. But I'll have a go.

The blues is a descriptor for the African-American experience of life - it originated as a kind of working song, for shouting in the cotton-fields where a lot of african-americans worked as slaves, then later as sharecroppers.

So, on one level when we say 'blues' we're talking about a genre of music, the so-called 'country blues' which was a direct outgrowth of these working songs. On the other hand, the sheer number of other things which have been attributed to 'the blues' is mind-bogglingly upsetting. The Original Dixieland Jass Band plays 'St. Louis Blues'. Robert Johnson sings the blues. John Mayer says he's got a 'new blues I can't explain'. Charlie Parker tells B.B. King - 'I'm a blues player, B, we're all blues players.' But their music is worlds apart.

So where does that leave the blues? Nowhere, it seems. I don't have answers, if you were hoping. Sometimes you get an inkling though, of what it all means - what I have now, is that the blues means honesty. It means uncontrived emotion. What charlie parker and B.B. King and ornette coleman are playing sounds impossibly different, but at the centre of it is humanity, an uncluttered humanity; an african-american humanity.

Uncluttered is an interesting experience. What i've come to perceive is that some novice players tend to play better than people with very advanced technique. Case in point : I play the blues better on electric bass than on guitar. Highly disturbing, considering how much time I practice on the six-stringed annoyance. The explanation, as I see it, is simple enough : some technically proficient players tend to impose ideas on their playing. It doesn't work, it causes improvisation to sound contrived, unnatural, un-bluesy. What works is an un-judgemental state of listening, where what has been played and what IS being played filters through the collective of experiences present in our subconscious, and is used to come up with something else. No amount of intellectual posturing can account for the complexity and the emotion present in our experiences. THAT's the blues.

adam

Life is good.

School still sucks but school =/= life SO THERE. *rude gesture*

In any case, managed to one-up council today by organising an en-masse pulling-out of all the bands in talentime due to unacceptable working conditions. They panicked and caved in immediately. Haha. I guess revenge is slow and sweet.

I kind of felt bad about feeling good about that for awhile.

HELLO CRUNCH I AM SORRY YOU HAD TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF MY COUNCIL-DIRECTED ANGST. I DON'T HATE YOU. I JUST HATE YOUR ORGANISATION.
(could someone tell crunch please?)

Talentime song went pretty well too, considering all the stage-presence pep talk i've been getting from terence. Still not perfect, but my twitching-and-flailing act is still a step up from standing still. I guess.

adam

I've had a horrible week. Like most horrible weeks it took many little horrible things to make.
The first horrible thing was coming to terms with studying. I'm still in a transition state, my fingertips still itch a bit where I press the strings, but I'm doing alright. I heard Wynton Marsalis play a minor blues somewhere, and I nearly lost it right then. I needed to figure that line out, but oh well. Mixture of laziness and despair.

I bought a file, and I put all of my things in it. It's grey.

The second horrible thing was jazz club, and everything that goes with it. I'm losing control already (which kind of shows how much of a control freak I am) , can't deal with anyone, not sure where we're heading or what we should be doing. Just really low on self-confidence. At least I hope some of the j1s will stick around. First prac was a nightmare (not because it was bad, but because I didn't know what was going on).

The third thing is church. I've stopped going for youth meetings on sunday, though I still go for mass. What's the point. I don't believe in half the things you all believe in. You're wonderful people but I feel like a hypocrite standing there. Please go ahead anyway.

So, angst, depression. Whatever. I still rate very highly on the happiness and satisfaction scale (see blogthings), which may prove that i'm a bit of a masochist. At least i'm not bored.

And there's still stuff to do. I vow to live forever by never having enough time to lie down somewhere and die.



adam

I guess this should go on my other blog, but whatever.
I got to play at the esplanade!
I am really happy about that. Got dragged down to the outdoor theatre by mark and shawn to join the mosaic jam and there were all sorts of pro people who played the pants off us. We went up anyway (kicking and screaming, as it were) and I think we did ok. I was very, very scared.

But... wow. Achievement, even though it was just an open jam and we kind of < everybody else. It was fun and I got to meet all the cool people backstage. I kept the little 'artist' tag they gave me too .

adam

I hate this. I hate everything.

It's 2007. 2007 means J2.
J2 means A levels.
A levels means studying.
Studying means no practice.

First off, I hate studying.
Studying is for the sort of people who grow up to be withered shrubberies in some meaningless post in a backward university, teaching the next generation of withered shrubberies.

I am also deathly afraid that when it comes to the crunch i.e. practice or study, I will be completely unable to choose the latter.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

adam

meme#2

Got this from Ryan.

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 12 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your journal, and give out some letters of your own.
My letter is O.

1. Orange. Orange is now prescribed in tablet or syrup form at your nearest clinic for cases ranging from mild depression to suicidal tendencies. No known side effects except uncontrollable happiness.

2. Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy INVENTED screamo. Black Sabbath FTW.

3. Othello (the character) for being so amazingly screwed up, but STILL great. I like Othello a lot.

4. Ornithology (the Charlie Parker tune, not the discipline.) Only song which I have 3 versions of all by the same artist.

5. Opus Pocus by Jaco Pastorius. Favourite pastorius tune ever, and one of his best.

6. Orion, the constellation. Probably the only easily recogniseable one from Singapore. But I don't do stargazing so maybe I just don't know. If the night is clear you can always see the three-stars-in-a-row belt of orion.

7. Ostinatos. Listen to Hiromi's 'XYZ'. She is entirely composed out of awesome, as Ryan would say. Not that I think he'd like Hiromi. But he talks like that.

8. Obfuscate. Obfuscate. Obfuscate. Obfuscate. Obfuscate.
Obfuuuuuscaaaaaaaaaaate.

9. 'Of' the word. Without which we would have no 'Heart OF Darkness'.

10. Orkz. Even more dakka!

11. Onomatopoiea. I can spell it.

12. JAMES BROWN. OK, I cheated. But I think he deserves a mention.
My heroes are dying one by one and I can't do anything about it.
My man, you are Soul Brother number one. You are a sex machine.

adam

New blog.
http://cosimavoodoochild.blogspot.com/

But it isn't replacing this one.

adam

There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Those who don't understand what Pat Metheny is doing, and those who don't understand what Pat Metheny is doing, but listen to him anyway.

adam

Gigs

I'm happy now, because I've got lots of gigs.

And I love it when i get to perform. Ok, given... the wedding today was a bit of a screwup. But nobody noticed! (Or at least, it being a wedding, they were obliged to be nice.) I guess you can count on Nobody At All to understand what a jazz band is doing. In fact, we survived a dangerously teetering rendition of that most hated song, Fly me to the Moon, and made a sort of careening way through My Funny Valentine, and came out the other end looking slightly bruised, but not really worse for the wear. It has been worse before.

For example, taking a gig with mark who shows up 15 minutes before and asks what songs we're doing. The thing is, he can do it. I can't - therefore, echoing Descartes, I suffer.

To anyone who reads this blog, if such a hypothetical person does in fact exist, COME DOWN TO WOODLANDS CC TOMORROW (Sunday). There's an open jam session at 1.30 .

Voodoo Child (Slight Return)

Well, I stand up next to a mountain
And I chop it down with the edge of my hand
Well, I stand up next to a mountain
And I chop it down with the edge of my hand
Well, I pick up all the pieces and make an island
Might even raise a little sand

'cause I'm a voodoo child
Lord knows I'm a voodoo child baby

I want to say one more last thing
I didnt mean to take up all your sweet time
I'll give it right back to ya one of these days
I said I didnt mean to take up all your sweet time
I'll give it right back one of these days

If I dont meet you no more in this world then
I'll meet ya on the next one
And don't be late
Don't be late

'cause I'm a voodoo child voodoo child
Lord knows I'm a voodoo child

Jimi Hendrix

MEEEEEEME.

I guess this is revenge for the 'hanxin smashes head, then smashes Ryan' comment.


Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included.

1. First thing that came to mind - i love it when it rains. Especially when it rains outside and i'm indoors... somehow i find that very comforting. Must be linked to some childhood thing i can't remember. I have a big transparent door that leads from my room to outside so i can see the rain and the plants and the garden slowly flooding up. I find it fascinating. Although, now there are plants and the garden doesn't really flood up anymore. It's still good.

2. I have incontrollable bouts of nervousness before public performances. Despite all my experience with that sort of thing it never goes away.

Notably, the worst was before my first debate in the Julia Gabriels national debating competition. I remember sitting in the canteen outside the debate room and being paralysed. As in, I actually felt breathing difficulties and dizziness. I went on to win best speaker, but that was the last and only time and eventually my team dropped out at the quarter finals.

The other time was before band concert this year in which hyqel and I were guest performing. We were both novice jazz guitarists at the time, barely able to decipher a 'D7+5' chord (doesn't that make it a D12?), let alone navigate the intricacies of fingerboard harmony. Worse still, we were accompaniment. Hyqel told me he got it too. Strangely that somewhat alleviated my panic... and I realised that the best antidote to nervousness is empathy. And winning.

3. Perhaps my favourite musician of all time is the electric bassist Jaco Pastorius, even though I don't really play bass much. I wouldn't say that his music is terribly profound compared to the likes of john coltrane, but it just radiates an energy that is incomparable. I don't think I will wax lyrical about his music right now. Rather I think i'll note that up to the 70s and 80s electric bassists were progressing hugely by co-opting electric guitar technique. So much so that I think (at least as far as jazz is concerned) they overtook us. Now I think it really is time for guitarists to start learning back from the bassists.

4. I used to be a swimmer. As in, I used to swim competitively. This is in spite of the fact that i'm horribly unfit and I have never taken my gold survival certificate. It also was around 8 years ago, so whatever swimmer is left in me has probably drowned. I still regularly owned my non-swimmer classmates in secondary school though.

5. I always use (almost) full english when I SMS or email or use msn. I don't shorten things which don't need to be shortened like 'You' or 'like'. I can understand using shorthand for long words or phrases like brb for be right back, but I can't stand people hu tok lyk dis. Seriously. You've saved, like 4 letters at the expense of looking completely retarded.
I also don't use a qwerty keyboard. I've switched to Dvorak which is faster and easier on the hands.

6. I really only speak one language : english. My chinese is good enough to express myself in a very limited fashion. I usually just resort to english and gestures. I also know a little French, but not enough to speak fluently. I can understand rudiments of Bahasa Indonesia, but not enough to speak as well.

I am tagging RYAN, ABBY, ELI, NATALIE, GERARD and SHARON.

Sorry Ryan, if this takes too much time away from nanowrimo then please tell me.

adam

EDIT: sorry, had to post this. This is brilliant.
I think it's important that churches are up to this right now. I think it's a step in the right direction.

Have been feeling very insecure lately, about everything. I put it down to hormones, but that doesn't make it any less shitty.

In fact, I've been pretty emo this whole year. Whoever it was on that documentary about teenagers got it right. It's a terrible time and a wonderful time.

Mr. Pastorius

I saw Jaco Pastorius and his band play 'Liberty City' on Youtube.

It is heartbreaking to see a man so happy.
Toots Thielemans, the harmonica player, came over to him during a rest and said something I couldn't hear and he laughed. He threw his head back and laughed like a little kid.
It is heartbreaking because in that instant I knew my life's goal is to be that happy some day, in the same inimitable, exuberant way.

Hey, I don't even know the man. I don't claim to. Never before have I seen a person, let alone a grown man, so joyous.

So I'm sitting here and I'm listening to 'Liberty City'. It is infectious. I wonder what it must be like on the other side, if just listening is such a moving experience. What's it like behing the score, behind the instrument, putting out such wonderful noise?
You couldn't listen to his music and not be moved. You couldn't play his music without being changed forever.

I found a vid of Jeff Carswell and Richard Bona covering the piece with the Jaco Pastorius Big Band. They're grinning like idiots. I wonder if they've seen that same performance and that same huge grin that I saw.

I wonder if they felt the same bittersweet regret that the world might never see such a smile again - at the same time knowing that a piece of him lives on regardless. Maybe they somehow felt inadequate.

Few know that 14 years before the 2001 terrorist attacks made the day infamous, on the same day ocurred a smaller but no less profound tragedy. Jaco Pastorius was beaten fatally in a club on september 11th, 1987. He died 10 days later. Until I saw that laugh I didn't think anything of it...

It is heartbreaking, it is heartbreaking.

Nu-metal. What a stupid name.

Disturbed has renewed my faith in modern rock.

Let's just say, if, for the last year or so you were to place a little camera in my room, unbeknownst to me, you would be hard-pressed indeed to find me headbanging to anything.
I mean, Velvet revolver, yes. Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Nirvana. All great, but not really headbanging-like.

I can truthfully say i've never had the urge until about 10 minutes ago. Nu-metal is my one weakness when it comes to modern rock-derived music. I've never given a second thought about anything from punk-rock to death metal - but from the start i was sort of attracted to linkin park. I recall intensely liking a Korn song from awhile back. I shamefully admit having listened to limp bizkit for a short, short period.

Those were dark days.

Eventually linkin park's teenage-angst lyrics and hip-hop leanings began to annoy me. I never heard another Korn song in my life. Limp bizkit thankfully faded from any of my playlists.

Never once though have I had the urge to headbang. I guess it's one of those things I figured was for uncouth teenagers with pimples and bad breath - at best, woefully unrestrained, and at worst just utterly silly. Which intelligent rock band would want their fans all to develop whiplash? Seems kind of counter-productive.

Anyway, GETTING TO THE POINT. Disturbed is fantastic. They've got the nu-metal thing going on. They've got a groove, and some fantastic song-writing. They have a half-decent guitarist (far better than the quarter- and eigth- decent guitarists present in other rock bands.)

So i guess i sort of broke down and headbanged.
A little.
I'm watching my pimples.


adam

I can't shake the feeling that sitting alone at the Coffee Bean, reading a book and nursing a vanilla Ice Blended somehow automatically brands you as a social outcast without any friends.

I tackled that hypothesis gallantly this afternoon with a copy of Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. Haven't finished it yet, but it is proving to be a fantastic book with thoughtful (as opposed to mindless) humour. And it is Very Funny.

For me this is a good reprieve from the apocalyptic we are all machines doom-n-gloom drugs-and-sex-and-violence imagery of Neuromancer (which i'm doing for h3 lit... go me).

On the other hand, incest isn't much better.
Haha.

adam

We can NEVER win against the world. It's like a casino on a mind-boggling scale, the odds constantly and consistently weighted against us. We claim our victories in the mute flashes of our lifetimes. The sudden jingle of slot machines. The sound uplifts our sordid, lonely souls for enough the time it takes for us to fade into the mists of eternity, forgotten.

I think it's the greatest irony that those of us (and I speak categorically) who reject what we perceive as a 'system' and rebel eventually become systems ourselves. Only now we are systems of rejection, the scientific method. But we claim our bright moments of victory before we are trampled and forgotten.

Destruction is beautiful. It's a sordid, animal impulse. Tell me you've never experienced a moment of catharsis seeing a fallen tree, mangled by fire. It's as if the world for a moment became a voicing of the hatred that burns inside all humans. Or if the dust of our bodies for a brief moment felt the kinship of the oblivion that is our inevitable destiny.

Haha you have got to try this.

I was playing Pat Metheny's 'all the things you are' on itunes in the background while surfing the net - then I (somehow) navigated to someone's (super emo) blog which was playing that 'how do i breeeeeaaaaaathe without you' song. The resulting mix was quite shocking. I almost laughed.

For nonteknischen, that version of all the things you are is a fairly liberally interpreted (even by modern standards) version, and mixing it with sappy love ballads is HILARIOUS.

My next project is to find 'my heart will go on' and mix it with Song X. Maybe i'll call it 'performance art'.

Giggle.


adam

I feel horrible... open house rehearsal was such a screw up. We didn't know what we were doing... mostly underpracticed and underconfident. Everything was off... timing, tuning and stuff. We can't keep playing like this...

I promise we'll do better. I promise.
And to Julie Andrews, i'm sorry for mangling the song that you sang. We'll do better next week.

adam

sonya* it only hurts when i breathe / freedom! (= all the things i wanna do with my life, here i come says:
A BAT IS IN MY ROOM!
HELP

sonya* it only hurts when i breathe / freedom! (= all the things i wanna do with my life, here i come says:
HELP
HELP
MAKE IT GO AWAY


If i wasn't wondering what on earth I should do, I would've fallen off my chair laughing :P

adam

http://www.todayonline.com/articles/144186.asp

Shit. They managed to execute the people. The 3 Christians accused of inciting violence against Muslims.

The promos are like breakfast cereal.
Except without the sugar.
... and most of the carbohydrates,
and the dietary fibre,
and the 7 essential vitamins and minerals,
and come to think about it, without the fancy packaging...

and all you're left with is crunchy despair.

Life sucks bad.

adam